


They Hurt My Feet

by crowleyhasfeels



Category: Barefoot (2014), Supernatural
Genre: Castiel/Dean Winchester First Time, Crazy Castiel, Dean Being an Asshole, Fake suicide attempt, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-05-19 04:53:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 23,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14866973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crowleyhasfeels/pseuds/crowleyhasfeels
Summary: Dean has a gambling problem ... well, he has an all around breaking the law problem. But his brother's wedding is approaching and he needs to go home. His brother getting married is not why he needs to be there, but his father's money is. If Dean doesn't get the money that he owes, it could mean his life. But there is a catch, Dean said he was in a relationship with a nurse. Enter Castiel, a patient from the mental hospital where Dean works. He could pull off being a nurse for a weekend, no harm, no foul. Excecpt, maybe Castiel is not as crazy as every makes him out to be and maybe Dean hasn't fully forgetten what it's like to connect with another person.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> This is a remake of my favorite movie. I do not own the movie and I borrowed heavily from it. I just felt that the characters matched Dean and Cas so well that it needed to be told with them in the story. I hope that you enjoy the remake of the story.

              Dean slowly pulled his arm out from under the guy currently sleeping on it. Once upon a time, Dean would have felt sort of bad for not remembering a guy’s name. That feeling had a long disappeared at this point. Now all he cared about was getting out of his apartment without a scene. But it generally seemed to go one way or another. One, they would freak out on him for using them or for being an asshole. Or two, they want to leave just as badly as Dean wants them too. There is rarely an in between.

              Dean pulled himself out of bed and stretched his muscles, creaking and popping like an old man that he clearly was not. He wasn’t old, but he didn’t take care of himself as well as he should. Whether it was a combination of running on little sleep and drinking himself to death or going days without eating when he had no money, his twenty-eight-year-old body was clearly messed up.

              “Morning.” The man in Dean’s bed rolled over, stretching out and making himself more comfortable, much to Dean’s dismay.

              “Hey,” Dean forced a smile. “I uh … I am sorry to say this, but … uh … I have to get going. Do you think you can lock up when you leave?”

              So, you aren’t making me breakfast than?” Sitting himself up, the guy did his best to try and make Dean feel guilty with sad eyes. It was a look that no longer affected him.

              “Yeah,” Dean pulled on his AC/DC t-shirt and reached down to grab his flannel and boots. “Not today. Sorry.”

              Before the man had a chance to say another word, Dean was out the door and sprinting for the stairs. He stopped at the bottom to slip on his boots. He was fairly certain that guy was not going to chase after him, but he had been wrong before.

              First stop: Strippers

After his awkward morning, Dean headed over to Club West, a male strip club just a couple of blocks from his apartment. It was kind of his place, spending more hours there than he really should. But people loved him there and he loved all of them, so he kept on returning.

              “What do you think you are doing here?” Victor, the bouncer, grabbed him by the arm as he made his way into the club.

              “Just came to see someone,” Dean tried to pull away, but Victor only tightened his grip.

              “Not here,” Victor let him go, but stepped in front of him. “You’ve been banned. Can’t believe you would even show your face in here after what happened last night.”

              “What happened last night?” Dean tired to remember but it was all a bit fuzzy. “I uh, I really don’t remember much … or anything at all, about last night.”

              “You got up on stage,” Victor glared at him.

              “No,” Dean didn’t believe him.

              “Yes,” Victor assured him.

              “Really?”

              “You started to take your clothes off,” Victor relaxed in front of him and Dean could tell that he felt sorry for him. He recognized when people felt sorry for him. “Then you tried to give this Russian guy a lap dance. He was not amused.”

              “That doesn’t sound like me,” Dean tried to lie but even he knew he didn’t always handle his alcohol well. “Okay, so maybe it does. Just give me five minutes and I will be out of your way.”

              “Out,” Victor grabbed Dean again and led him to the door.

              “I’m going,” Dean pulled away. “Just got your grubby hands off me.”

              “Don’t come back, Dean.” Victor called after him. “Or you’ll have to deal with more than just my grubby hands.”

              “Whatever,” Dean grumbled as he made his way down the street.

              Second stop: The Tracks

              Dean looked through the horses and their stats, deciding which one to place his bet on. He pulled out the last couple hundred dollars he had to his name and passed it over. He was in no way a religious man, but he sent out a hopeful prayer anyways. He needed as much help as he could get.

              He made his way over to a corner and waited for the race to begin, occasionally checking his watch. Normally, he didn’t care what time it was but today he had an appointment he could miss or it was back to jail for his ass.

              When the race began, Dean clenched his fists together so tight his knuckles were almost pure white. This was it. It was his last chance.

              “Fuck,” Dean mumbled, kicking a cup that was on the ground. Now, not only was he completely fucked, he was broke as well.

              Third Stop: The Casino

              Dean strolled in like he owned the place. He was nervous, but it didn’t ever help him out by showing that side of himself to the world.

              “Whiskey on the rocks,” Dean smiled at the bartender as he sat down.

              “Is that going to be cash or card?” She asked, waiting for an answer before attempting to pour him a drink.

              “Uh,” Dean pulled out his walled and looked over the vast array of credit cards before choosing on and sliding it over. “Card.”

              “Hey,” Dean turned slightly to see Mr. Zachariah standing beside him.

              “Hey,” Dean said back.

              “How are you doing?” Mr. Zachariah asked, grabbing tightly onto Dean’s shoulder.

              “I’m good,” Dean answered.

              “Long time,” Mr. Zachariah said, reaching down and grabbing Dean’s wallet.

              “Yeah, I was uh,” Dean fought against his pounding heart. “I was gonna call you today.”

              “Oh,” Mr. Zachariah opened Dean’s wallet. “I was hoping I would find thirty-seven grand in here.”

              “I do all my banking online these days,” Dean shot him a fake smile.

              “Listen,” Mr. Zachariah took a seat beside Dean. “I just heard something about you and to be honest, it kind of hurt my feelings.”

              “Oh yeah?” Dean swallowed hard. “What’s that?”

              “I learned you have some family back east,” Mr. Zachariah leaned in to whisper in Dean’s ear. “And they have all sorts of money.”

              “Yeah, well,” Dean ran his hand down the front of his jeans. “We aren’t really the close, sharing kind of people. That is why I borrow from you.”

              “Cards declined,” the waitress reappeared, pushing the card across the bar to him.

              “Listen to me,” Mr. Zachariah’s grip on Dean’s shoulder tightened to the point where Dean felt like he could break it if he wanted to. “I know where you work. I know where you sleep. I know where you go to gamble away all of the money you don’t have. I know where your probation is. If I don’t have my money by five on Friday, I will find you and crush your skull in.”

              “Ah,” Dean nodded with a sigh. He was definitely fucked.

              Final Stop: Parole Office

              “Mr. Winchester continues to show,” the woman behind the desk began, “through a series of offenses: DUI, Resisting Arrest, Criminal Speeding, Unlicensed Gambling and Aggravated Assult…”

              Dean did all that he could to not roll his eyes as she continued on, “That he is combative, disruptive and has a general disregard for rules and regulations. He also is incapable of obeying the law.”

              “Whoever wrote that,” Dean flashed her a smile, “just … gets me.”


	2. Chapter 2

Being a Janitor was not a glorious profession or one that Dean could ever be proud of, but it was the only job he could get with the rap sheet that followed him around these days. It was the only constant in his life currently and for that, he was grateful to have it. He even had a few friends here. Sure, they were bat shit crazy, but who wasn’t these days.

“Hey,” Dean turned away from his locker to see Aaron, the security guy.

“Hey,” Dean responded before starting to get undressed to change back into his regular clothes.

“So, that guy and his thick-neck buddy showed up again.” Dean tried to keep his cool, but his life was currently hanging by a thin thread. “Told them you weren’t here.”

“Alright,” Dean breathed out deeply. “Thank you.”

Larry, the other Janitor, who seemed more like he needed to be locked up in the place and not working for it, wouldn’t stop looking at Dean. He acted like he knew what was going on, but he didn’t have a clue and it was driving Dean insane.

“Hey, don't you have somebody tied up in your basement,” Dean turned to him, not even trying to hide his frustration, “you need to go torture, something like that?”

Larry cleared his throat, but he didn’t fight with Dean, he simply got up and walked out of the locker room. That is when Dean turned to Aaron. “Hey, man. You got no money socked away? Nothing at all?”

“Does it look like I got any money socked away, man?” Aaron was a good guy, but in all fairness, he worked here too. “What about your family? Said your brother's getting married next week, right?”

“Yeah,” Dean shook his head. “I did. So what?”

“So what?” Aaron shut his locker and turned to Dean. “So, get a tux and fly to the party. Everybody is happy and your old man’s checkbook is already open.”

“Yeah,” Dean grabbed his keys and closed his locker. It was not going to work, but honestly, it was the only option he had at this point.

“Listen,” Dean paced his living room, cigarette in hand as he talked to his mother on the phone. He hadn’t talked to her in months and it was more than a little nerve wrecking. “I think I can make it to the wedding now.”

“Oh, that’s great,” He could hear his mother’s smile over the phone. “Oh here. Talk to your father.”

“Uh, no, mom.” Dean said into the phone but could only hear a rustling sound. “Mom. I don’t … mom!”

“Hello,” Dean straightened up when his father’s voice came on the line.

“Hey, Dad,” Dean took a deep breathe.

“Oh, Dean,” His father sounded both shocked and slightly disappointed. “How are you?”

“I … I’m well,” Dean nodded his head, more to try and convince himself, even though it was all a lie. It was always a lie when it came to his parents. “I’m well. I’ve uh, I’ve been following the uh, the merger talks in the news. Looks promising.”

“Yeah,” Dean father agreed. “How is the plan going out there?”

“Uh, it’s going very well.” Again, nothing but lies. “It’s going amazing, actually. I was telling mom I got a new job. It's an administration position with one of the largest psychiatric hospitals out here.” Or Janitor, but what’s a title really? “I-I've met someone, too, and he's... he’s amazing. He is the greatest thing. Mom would love him.”

“Does he take his clothes off for a living?” His dad quickly responded, turning it all into a negative, like he always did when it came to Dean.

“No, he doesn’t take his clothes off for a living, dad.” He doesn’t do anything because he doesn’t really exist. “No, he’s a … he’s a nurse.”

“You should bring him with you to the wedding,” Dean’s father suggested.

“Bring him to the wedding?” Dean repeated his father’s words.

“Yeah,” John agreed as if it were final. “Sure.”

“Uh, no. Yeah, no.” Dean was racking his brain for an out. “He’s not going to be able to get time off work. He’s … he’s a nut with his job, this one.”

“Yeah, well,” Dean’s father put on his stern voice, the only voice that had ever really gotten to Dean in the worst way possible. “We both think you should bring him.”

“Um, okay,” Dean ran his hand down his face to wipe away the beads of sweat that had formed. “You know what? We will be there. Tell mom we’re going to be there, and we’ll be there, okay?”

“Okay,” his father seemed satisfied.

“Shit,” Dean yelled as he hung up the phone. “Shit.”

_____

Dean worked to drown out the background sounds of screaming and incoherent ramblings. After so long of working in a psychiatric hospital, things started to get to you; you started to hear the sounds in your sleep and even started to see certain things as normal, things that a normal person would look at and know for sure it was a crazy action. But Dean had gotten to know these people over time and to him, most of them were nothing more than just patients, they were his friends.

Dean stopped and looked up at two nurses getting ready to enter the hallway. He had it all planned out. He had seen the way that Michael had looked at him randomly over time. He had to have a crush on Dean, that was the only explanation. Now was the guys chance to get a shot at Dean and Dean’s chance to try and keep his parents off his back long enough to swindle enough money out of his father to help pay off his debts and keep himself alive.

“Mop guy,” Meg, a nurse that he had chatted with here and there walked passed him and stopped to turn and look back, clearly checking him out, which she did often. “Show us what you’ve got.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Dean shot her a smile and put a little more swing into his hips as he ran the mop across the floors surface. He stopped when Michael walked out, all stern, as always. “My god, you look … you look amazing today.”

“I wear this every day,” Michael shot a slightly annoyed glance at Dean and then moved his eyes back to the chart he had been looking at previously.

“Really?” Dean pretended to act shocked. “I mean, I don’t know. Today, it’s like, it’s really working for you. You’re single right?”

“Yes,” Michael looked back up at Dean. “I’m single.”

“Yeah, I’m single, too,” Dean smiled, moving a few steps closer to Michael. It was one thing asking out a coworker, it was another thing making it completely obvious in front of the entire place. “This is great.”

“You’re single,” Michael closed the folder holding the chart he was looking at and glared at Dean.  “Because you’re an asshole.”

“Yeah, but an interesting and fun asshole,” Dean laughed it off. “Listen, I’m going to come right out and say it. My brother is getting married this weekend in Kansas and I was kind of thinking, if you weren’t busy or anything … you and me…”

“You’re serious,” Michael’s expression went from annoyed to one of complete confusion. Was he confused as to why Dean had suddenly taken interest in him and he didn’t want to seem too desperate in saying yes, or was it something else?

“What?” Dean hated the buildup that came along with anticipation. “Is that a yes?”

Michael shook his head and gave a breathy laugh before completely bypassing Dean altogether and walking over to the other nurse and Naomi, the nurse who no one liked because, well, she sucked.

“This is Castiel Novak,” Naomi introduced the man standing to her side.

Dean could not help but take notice of the man. He was the most interesting person Dean had ever seen, to say it in the best way possible. He was tall and skinny, almost as if he needed someone to show him what a cheeseburger was. His dark hair was a complete mess on top of his head and his eyes, holy shit, Dean had never seen that color blue before. It made him step back slightly out of amazement. But one thing was for sure, this man was crazy, hence being introduced to a bunch of nurses and clutching a duffle bag between his long, slender fingers. So, that was a no. Hot as hell, yes. Datable, hell no.

“Thank you, Mr. Winchester,” Naomi looked up to see Dean staring.

“Right,” Dean nodded that he understood, packing up his cart and moving on, but not before looking back one more time. Because, blue.


	3. Chapter 3

Dean pushed his cart into the closet and made his way down the hall, flagging over Garth and Uriel. Sure, they were crazy as crazy could get, but they were the closest thing that he had to friends in this god forsaken town. They kept him sane amongst their insanity. It was horrible of him, keeping the crazy close so that he could feel less crazy himself, but Dean was known for doing things that benefited him and him alone. In fact, it was pretty much all that he was.

“Okay, fellas,” Dean looked around to make sure no one was watching. “Break time.”

He led them through the door that led up to the higher levels. They were currently shut down for reconstruction, but it had been three years, and nothing was really happening with them. It made it the perfect secluded place to get away when you didn’t want to be found by the higher ups.

Dean sat Uriel down at a table and dug around a pile of papers for a nudie magazine. Uriel didn’t talk or make many reactions at all, but Dean could see the spark of life in his eyes when he looked at the women. It was his job to keep these men connected to their emotions, since no one in this place seemed to care about the basic needs of them.

“I am only here because I refuse to vote,” Garth began on his rant. Not a lot of what Garth ever said made sense, but Dean seemed to catch more and more. His mind was definitely confused but he was not as fucked up as they made him out to be, maybe.

“I know,” Dean nodded over at him.

“Because I refuse to use credit cards,” Garth continued on, pacing back and forth in front of the table, “or go on the internet. They know my record. They know your record too, Mr. Winchester. If that is even your real name. They know everything about you.”

“I’m off the grid baby,” Dean laughed.

“Just because I won’t go to websites and because I don’t have a cell phone.” Garth’s pacing was becoming a little more intense and Dean could tell that he was working himself up.  “I won’t even look at a television.”

Garth stopped his rambling long enough to kick over a few buckets and push over a ladder, his pacing then moving into something frantic and Dean knew he needed to step in and calm the situation down. He brought himself to his feet and stood himself in front of his friend.

“That’s why,” Garth tried to struggle away from Dean but he gripped his shoulders tight enough to keep him in place. “That’s why…”

“You don’t have to,” Dean spoke in the most calming voice he could find. “Come on. Sit down. Sit down.”

Garth finally calmed himself down and sat down at the table, taking the bottle of whiskey that Dean was offering to him.

“Mr. U,” Dean turned back to Uriel, grabbing the magazine and looking at the woman that was on the page, before holding it up to Uriel. “How’s the wild man today?”

Uriel’s eyes flickered from Dean back to the page in front of him. “Pretty women, Mr. U. You remember pretty women?”

Uriel followed the magazine until it was sitting down in front of him. It wasn’t much, but Dean could see the smile that was hiding against his lips. “Yeah. You remember.”

_____

“Dr. Singer wants to see you in his office,” Larry approached Dean when he returned to his cart, a sly smile playing across his face. Dean shook his head but made his way into Dr. Singer’s office.

“Now listen,” Dean spoked, taking a seat in front of Dr. Singer’s desk. “I don’t know what Larry told you.”

“You’re giving alcohol and pornography to my patients,” Dr. Singer stood himself up from his desk and placed his hands on top of it, the vein in his neck clearly showing how angry he was.

“They’re my friends,” Dean began to argue.

“They are variously,” Dr. Singer stopped Dean before he could continue, “psychotic, catatonic, manic, delusional. They are also my responsibility. From this point forward, you will have no contact with these patients except to mop the floor beneath their feet. Are we clear?”

“Yeah,” Dean nodded, looking down at his hands in his lap. “We’re clear. Absolutely. Yeah.”

“I’m fully away that if you lose this job, you violate your probation,” Dr. Singer gave Dean a sympathetic look but he could tell he was still angry. “If you let that happen, you will find yourself downwind from a category-5 shit storm.”

“Can I,” Dean tried to interrupt but Dr. Singer pointed toward the door.

“I’m done,” Dr. Singer finalized the conversation.

“Okay,” Dean nodded, bringing himself to his feet and quickly exiting Dr. Singer’s office.

Dean stopped just as he left the room, almost running head first into the patient from earlier, still looking as disheveled as ever. Dean looked into his blue eyes for a moment, thanking whatever God might exist that there was something in this day that was beautiful and then he was on his way, grabbing his cart and making his way down the hall.

_____

“It’s Castiel Novak,” the man in the white jacket began to speak, pulling Castiel’s eyes from the floor up to look at him. “Right?”

Castiel nodded his head. That was his name.

“Do you know where you are?” The white coated man asked.

Castiel looked around the room, giving it as much thought as he could, but ultimately, he had no idea. So, he shook his head no.

“It’s okay.” The man tried to reassure him, but Castiel didn’t feel like any of this was okay. “This is a psychiatric hospital. The police report says that your mother passed away and you left a note for the mailman asking him what you should do.”

Castiel remembered the moment clearly. He remembered seeing his mother lying on her bed, not moving, not breathing. He poked her a few times, called her name but she didn’t move. He thought she needed to be left alone and so that is what he did. But when he returned hours later, she hadn’t moved. He knew what death was but he had no idea how to handle it.

“Mr. Novak,” Castiel looked up at the man again. “Are you aware of the time? Do you know the day, month, year?”

“Uh,” Castiel knew how to tell time. He knew the days of the week. But right now, he didn’t seem to know anything. “I’m not exactly sure what day it is.”

“It’s okay,” the man said again and Castiel wanted to believe him. “Do you know why you are here?”

“I guess, uh,” Castiel looked at the man and then looked down at the floor again. He much preferred to look at the floor, “the voices?”


	4. Chapter 4

Dean got all of his equipment put up for the night and made his way into the locker room. He hated getting off so late at night, considering how early in the day he arrived, but he needed all of the hours he could get and even though he hated to admit it, being at work kept him out of all kinds of trouble. He didn’t mean to get into so much trouble, it was just a part of him that he never figured out how to get rid of.

Once he was showered and back into his normal clothes, Dean made his way through the halls toward the exit but got distracted by talking coming from a room across the hall. It did not take him long to realize that the conversation was not pleasant and someone sounded as if they were in distress.

Dean quickly made his way into the room, only to pause for a moment at the scene in front of him. Larry, the man he hated more than anything in the world was trying to push himself onto the newest addition to the crazy house, Castiel.

“Oh wait,” Castiel tried to push him away but he wasn’t budging. “Stop. Please.”

“Hey,” Dean shouted. He grabbed Larry by the arm and turned him around, punching him so hard he dropped to the floor, unconscious.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Castiel continued to repeat the words over and over. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Dean sat down on the corner of his bed.

“I didn’t mean to cause any trouble,” Castiel continued to apologize.

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Dean looked from Castiel to Larry lying on the ground. “That guy’s a freak. He was going to hurt you.”

“But, he’s a doctor,” Castiel covered his face.

“No, no.” Dean shook his head, pulling Castiel’s hand down so that he was forced to look at him. “He’s not a doctor.”

Dean waited for Castiel to get his breathing under control, even reaching out a hand and holding it on his shoulder to help keep him grounded.

“Now, listen to me,” Dean leaned into Castiel. “You’ve got to protect yourself in here okay?”

“You’re the mopping man,” Castiel tilted his head and for a moment, Dean forgot what they were talking about. It was a simple gesture but something about it was so pure and powerful.

“Yeah,” Dean responded. “I’m Dean.”

“Where’s your mop?” Castiel asked, looking around Dean to see if he could spot it.

“Doesn’t matter,” Dean stood up from the bed. “I have to get out of here. You gonna be okay?”

Dean waited for an answer but turned when he caught a glimpse of movement from the corner of his eye. Other patients had been woken up and were starting to get out of bed.

“Mr. James,” Dean turned to face another patient. “Go back to bed, please.”

“It’s time to get up,” Mr. James spoke, pulling to covers off of himself.

“No, it’s time to sleep.” Dean began to back away. “It’s time to sleep.”

“Wash your face, wash your hands,” Mr. Hannigan began next, pulling himself out of bed.

“Shit,” Dean ran a hand down his face. This was not good. He decided he didn’t have time to wait for a response, he needed to get out of this place.

Dean took off for the stairs and made his way out into the parking garage. He was just about out when he heard a noise coming from behind him. Turning, he cursed internally when he saw Castiel, with his duffle bag, following him.

“What are you doing?” Dean turned around and walked over to Castiel.

“I’m coming with you.” Castiel said it so sure of himself. He truly believed he was going with Dean.

“What? No.” Dean looked around quickly to make sure no one else was around. “You can’t leave. You’re a patient.”

“I don’t like it here,” Castiel lowered his head, defeated.

“Yeah, I get that,” Dean relaxed slightly. He wouldn’t want to be locked in this hell hole either. “But you can’t just stand here.”

“Where should I stand?” Castiel asked.

“Come on,” Dean grabbed Castiel’s arm and pulled him away with him as an ambulance pulled into the parking garage. He didn’t need Castiel coming with him but they were in a good position of getting caught. He needed to get them a little further away from the building. As they made their way outside, Dean looked down. “Where are your shoes?”

“I don’t have any,” Castiel answered.

“How can you not have shoes?”

“They hurt my feet.”

“Look,” Dean stopped them once they were around the corner. “You have to get back inside. You have to tell them what happened, okay? Please?”

Castiel looked at Dean and then down at his feet. He looked like he was on the verge of tears, which sucked. Dean hated when people cried. He pissed a lot of people off, anger he got, but tears were something else entirely and Castiel was way too sweet to be crying.

“What’s wrong?” Dean stepped a little closer to Castiel. “What’s happening?”

Castiel looked up at Dean. What Dean imagined were going to be tears turned into bouts of hyperventilation. Castiel was working himself up and making it hard for himself to breathe.

“Okay. Okay. Okay. Just breathe.” Dean reached out and grabbed Castiel’s chin, turning his head up to look at him. “Look at me. Just breathe, okay?”

Dean looked from Castiel to the building they had just left. Honestly, he didn’t want to force anyone to be in there, but that wasn’t his choice and Castiel was not his problem.

“Look,” Dean took a deep breath to calm himself. “I really don’t care if you don’t want to go back. You can do whatever you want, okay?”

Castiel didn’t answer, he just looked at Dean as if he had grown a second head.

“Okay, look,” Dean reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. He fished out a twenty that he had borrowed earlier in the day and handed it over. “Grab a cab. Call somebody. Do something, okay?”

“Who should I call?” Castiel asked.

“I don’t know,” Dean shook his head. “You’re supposed to know the people you know. Okay?”

“Okay,” Castiel answered with a nod.

“Okay.” Dean smiled. “Take care of yourself. Get some shoes.”

Dean turned and began to cross the street, trying to act as casual as he could. This part of town always had cops lurking about. Maybe it was because of the crazy house. As he almost got to the other side of the road, he stopped, knowing what he was about to turn around into. When he turned around, his suspicions were confirmed. Castiel was following him, currently standing in the middle of the street.

Dean should have told him to turn around and go back or to stop following him but his mouth wouldn’t let him. Instead, he motioned to Castiel to come to him. He would figure out what to do with him later, they just needed to get away from this place.


	5. Chapter 5

The walk across town took longer with Castiel following him. Dean had to make sure to take the safest routes, both to keep Castiel safe and because the man didn’t have any shoes on his feet. He had to avoid places that would kill his feet all together. But finally, they were at their destination.

“Okay look,” Dean stopped them at the back door of Club West. “I need to go talk to a friend.”

“Why are we going in the back door?” Castiel asked.

“Because I don’t want the bouncer to stop us,” Dean answered honestly, cause who was Castiel going to tell.

“Oh,” Castiel nodded. “Okay.”

Dean pulled open the back door and looked around, making sure Victor was nowhere in sight before pulling Castiel in behind him. They made their way through the club, avoiding the array of bodies that crossed their paths.

“What is this place?” Castiel asked loudly, trying to be heard over the loud music.

“It’s a club,” Dean answered.

“What kind of club?”

“Uh,” Dean looked around, trying to come up with the best answer. “It’s a dancing club.”

“For people who like to dance?”

“Yeah,” Dean laughed, “for people who like to dance.”

“Why is it so dark?” Castiel asked another question. He was the man of never ending curiosity, but Dean could not seem to be mad at him for it.

“Cause it’s a club for people who like dancing in the dark.”

“OH,” Castiel quickly brought a hand up to cover his face. “That man didn’t have any clothes on.”

“Didn’t he?” Dean turned to look and sure enough, there was currently a naked man on stage. “I didn’t … I didn’t even notice.”

“A lot of people in here don’t have any clothes on.” Castiel noted.

“Okay,” Dean avoided his statement and helped Castiel into a chair at the bar. “I’m gonna go talk to some people. Just don’t move, okay?”

“Okay,” Castiel agreed.

Dean looked around for Victor again before slipping himself back behind one of the stages were the dressing room was. It was packed, which was expected for a Saturday night. It was the hottest gay strip club in town, after all. Dean looked around, watching them all get into or out of their costumes before spotting Benny.

“Hey, Benny,” Dean made his way over to the man. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“And what the hell for brotha?” Benny asked, not even looking at Dean but at himself in the mirror.

“I was just thinking you know,” Dean rubbed his palms on his jeans. “You, me, Kansas.”

Dean explained what he needed, hoping Benny would have some kind of sympathy for him and take him up on his offer.

“No,” Benny finally answered.

“No?” Dean actually wasn’t expecting that. “Why?”

“Pretending to be some male nurse makes me uncomfortable.” Benny answered.

“You hump a pole naked for money,” Dean argued. “And this makes you uncomfortable?”

“Yeah,” Benny shrugged, working to adjust himself in the assless chaps he had put on.

“You don’t see the irony there?”

“Nope,” Benny turned, this time checking out his ass.

“Okay,” Dean looked around. He was feeling defeated before but this was a new low for him. He couldn’t even get a stripper to fake go out with him.

“Does anyone here want to go to Dean’s brother’s wedding?” Benny called out into the dressing room.

“No,” the answer came in unison from everyone in there. Maybe they didn’t like him around here as much as he had thought before. He was sure there would be at least one person.

“Come on guys,” Dean called out into the room. “I need a date.”

“And why should we help you?” Benny finally turned to look at Dean.

“Uh,” Dean put his hands into his coat pockets. “Because I’m putting you through college with all of those dollars that I am throwing at you every night.”

“Well,” Benny put his hand on his hip. “What is in it for us?”

“The fuzzy feeling you get from helping out a friend?” Dean offered with a smile.

_____

“Why are you wearing those shoes?” Castiel asked, looking at a man on stage dressed as a woman. He was doing a beautiful job but his shoes were massive and Castiel was sure he would fall if he stepped wrong.

_____

“Um,” another man joined them in the dressing room, stopping right in front of Dean. “You might want to come check on your friend.”

“What?” Dean quickly followed the guy out to the club. His eyes glanced toward the bar but Castiel was no longer sitting where he had left him. “Shit.”

Dean looked around the bar, his eyes finally landing on the stage, a stage that Castiel was now dancing on … badly. Dean worked his way through the crowd but he could tell he was not the only one who noticed. Victor was also on his way over to Castiel.

“Yo, sweets,” Victor yelled up to Castiel on the stage. “You have to get out of here.”

“But, Dean said this was a club for dancing,” Castiel continued to dance along with stage.

“Dean who?” Victor asked.

“Dean,” Castiel wasn’t sure why the man did not know Dean. “He snuck us in the back. He said he didn’t want the bouncer to see us.”

“Yo,” Victor reached up and grabbed Castiel by the wrist. “You have to get down. Come on.”

“What, no,” Castiel looked down at the hand on his arm. “No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.”

Victor pulled Castiel forward and when he was in his arms, Castiel curled himself into a ball, still crying out the word no, repeatedly.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Dean finally made it to the stage, just as Victor was setting Castiel on the floor. Dean got down and helped him up to his feet.

“You need to leave now,” Victor got into Dean’s face. “I told you not to come back here again.”

“Yeah, I got it,” Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel’s shoulders and began to walk away. “We’re going.”

Dean led them through the club as fast as he could, which was hard with the crowd. He stopped them off by the bar and grabbed Castiel’s duffle bag. Hopefully no one had taken anything, though Dean was not sure what a crazy man would have in his duffle that would be worth stealing.

“You all right?” Dean asked Cas as they made their way through the back door.

“This fat man,” Castiel looked back and tried to point. “He offered me $100 for a hand job.”

“Did he?” Dean looked back, but there were too many people to find someone in specific.

“I’ve never had a job.”


	6. Chapter 6

As they made their way down the street, Dean tried to work out a plan. He needed to find a place for Castiel to go, but the only place he could think of was the hospital. However, if he took him back now, Dean was sure to be fired. There is no way that Castiel would not say something about his adventures out. Dean would be fired, he would violate his parole and he would be headed straight back to jail. And to be honest, he was too pretty to be in jail.

“You sure you have no one to call?” Dean asked again, hoping that something would eventually come to Castiel.  But he only shook his head.

“You have no friends?”

Castiel shook his head again.

“You have no family?”

Another head shake.

“You have nobody?” Dean was starting to feel bad for the guy when he shook his head yet again. “What am I supposed to do with you?”

Castiel looked up at Dean like a lost puppy dog and shrugged his shoulders. That is when it hit him. Dean looked over Castiel and wondered why he had not thought about it before. Well, he didn’t think about it because Castiel was crazy and it was a crazy idea. But Dean was great when it came to doing things that were crazy.

“Ever been to Kansas?”

_____

“Do you have I.D.?” Dean asked as he worked to get them two bags packed.

Castiel looked up from where he was sitting on Dean’s bed and tilted his head again, this time with confusion in his eyes. Did he not know what an I.D. was?

“You got to show I.D.,” Dean zipped up their bags. “They ask for it at security.”

“I’m sorry,” Castiel was either asking questions or apologizing, there never seemed to be a between.

“It’s fine,” Dean sat down next to him. “I have a plan and it’s a good one.”

_____

“And when people say, ‘hey, what do you do?’ you say?” Dean was coaching Castiel on how to act once they got to Dean’s family.

“I’m a nurse,” Castiel spoke the words but they weren’t full of confidence. They would get there. “I’m not supposed to lie.”

“It’s not a lie,” Dean lied.

“Not a lie?”

“It’s pretending,” Dean twisted the words. “Which is fine.”

“What’s the difference?” Castiel asked.

“I’ll explain it to you later,” Dean didn’t really have a good answer. “Okay?”

“Okay,” Castiel nodded, looking down at himself. “Your dancer friends really don’t mind that I borrowed their clothes?”

“No,” Dean looked over at Castiel in the plane seat beside him. He was wearing a pair of jeans that were so tight you could see every definition of his body and a t-shirt that wouldn’t stay down to cover his stomach. “They wanted to help.”

“Are you sure this looks okay?” Castiel looked at himself again.

“Yeah,” Dean answered. He looked hot, maybe not like a nurse but it was the best he had. “You look fantastic. Really, you look great. Just uh, keep the jacket on.”

“This?” Castiel pulled at the black leather jacket he was wearing over the shirt.

“Yeah.”

“Whoa,” Castiel grabbed the seat in front of them when they hit some turbulence.

“You okay?” Dean asked, leaning back in his seat.

“Yeah,” Castiel answered.

“Good.”

Dean closed his eyes, hoping he could get some sleep before having to come face to face with his parents again.

“Sir,” Dean jumped slightly in his seat, unsure of when he had fallen asleep.

“Yeah?” Dean looked up at the flight attendant who was leaning down over him.

“I’m sorry,” the flight attendant said as low as she could so that Dean could be the only one to hear her. “Your friend has been in the bathroom for a really long time.”

“Okay,” Dean unbuckled and brought himself to his feet. “Yeah.”

Dean looked over the people on the plane as they made their way to the back. The majority of them were asleep, which was good. He was not sure what kind of things would happen with Castiel on a flight, or in general. The more people to not have to witness any breakdowns or outburst was better for Dean.

“Castiel,” Dean knocked lightly on the door. “It’s me, Dean.”

“There is no flusher,” Castiel called through the door.

“Yeah, there is, honey,” Dean leaned his head against the door, fighting back a laugh. “It’s just a little different than usual.”

There was no answer, which worried Dean.

“You see the button on the wall above the seat,” Dean tried to instruct based on memory. “It’s actually a lever.”

“Yeah,” Castiel said just loud enough for Dean to hear.

“Push that.” Dean instructed again. “It says ‘flush’ right on it.”

“But the letters are worn off,” Castiel informed him.

“Anyway,” Dean kept his voice low. “Just push it.”

There was a loud flushing sound, followed by a scream. Dean stepped back just in time for the door to fly open and Castiel came tumbling out and landed right in his arms. He was shaking and Dean couldn’t help but hold him a little tighter than was necessary.

“It was really loud,” Castiel informed Dean, turning in his arms to face him.

“You handled it well though,” Dean assured him.

Dean lead Castiel back to their seats and got them settled in. Maybe now he would be able to get some sleep. He had been up for far to long and really needed to be well rested before he had to start lying actively to his parents. He lied often, so he needed to make sure that he was prepared to do it better than normal.

“Okay,” Dean turned to face Castiel who was looking out the dark window. “Let’s try and get some sleep okay?”

“I’m not tired,” Castiel looked quickly at Dean and then back out the window.

“Then eat your peanuts,” Dean suggested.

“I already did,” Castiel informed Dean.

“Then eat mine.”

There was a long pause before Castiel met eyes with Dean again and whispered. “I already did.”

“Hey,” Dean smiled over at the man next to him, unsure of how he had come to like another human being so quickly. Maybe it was because Castiel didn’t see him for who he really was … yet. “This flight is called a red eye. Do you know why?”

Castiel shook his head.

“Because,” Dean leaned back in his seat, “if we don’t get sleep, we are gonna have red eyes when we get to Kansas. And you don’t want to have red eyes when you meet my family, do you?”

“No,” Castiel shook his head.

“No,” Dean closed his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. “So, let’s be quiet.”

“Okay.”

_____

“Hey,” Dean opened his eyes and tried to let his eyes adjust to the darkness. It wasn’t completely dark, but dark enough.

“Hi,” Dean finally noticed the flight attendant standing over him.

“We have another problem.”

Dean looked over and sure enough, Castiel was not sitting in the seat next to him like he was before Dean fell asleep. If he had gone to the bathroom again, he should have been fine. He knew what to expect.

Dean nodded, unbuckled himself and got out of his seat. He followed the flight attendant toward the front of the plane and frowned when they made it to the curtain separating coach and first class. Right, of course Castiel would have made himself comfortable in the only place that he was not allowed to be.

Dean pushed past the curtain and noticed Castiel sitting in a seat, quietly talking to someone who looked like they were on the verge of yelling at him.

“Hey hon,” Dean walked over and bent down in front of Castiel. “You can’t sit here.”

“But the seats are too small back there,” Castiel said.

“I know,” Dean agreed. “But we didn’t pay for the big seats.”

“Can we pay for them now?” Castiel asked.

“No,” Dean shook his head. “We can’t pay for them now.”

“What’s wrong with him?” The flight attendant asked.

“Excuse me?” Dean stood up, looking down at the small, petite, blonde, flight attendant. “There is nothing wrong with my boyfriend.”

“Thank you,” Castiel smiled over at Dean, his entire face lit up. Dean knew that he was going to have to explain to Castiel later that they were not really a couple, that this was just pretend, but now was not the time.

“Let’s go baby,” Dean grabbed Castiel’s hand and began to lead him away. “I’m lonely back there. Come on.”

“Do we have to sleep?” Castiel asked.

“No,” Dean smiled at him. “We don’t have to sleep.”

“Can we get some of those good nuts in the nice dish?” Castiel continued with his questions.

“Um,” the man who had been getting frustrated with Castiel a little earlier finally spoke. “You can take mine.”

“I uh,” Castiel turned to look at Dean and gave him a slight ashamed look. “I already did.”


	7. Chapter Seven

Dean slept like shit, but that was normal for trying to sleep on a plane. Not to mention, Castiel kept doing little random things, such as turning on and off the over head light. It was angering but also super endearing at the same time.

“Everyone is moving around,” Castiel leaned into Dean and whispered.

“Yeah,” Dean opened his eyes and nodded, looking around at everyone stirring about. “We are getting ready to land.”

“Before,” Castiel leaned back against the seat and paused until Dean turned to face him. “You called me your boyfriend. Am I really your boyfriend?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Dean nodded, knowing that he was in deeper than he thought he would be. He knew this was going to end badly and Castiel was going to be crushed, but he was too far in at this point. “You’re my boyfriend.”

“My mother always told me that I would never be anyone’s boyfriend,” Castiel frowned, looking off into the space behind Dean as if he were in the moment, listening to his mother.

“Well,” Dean ran his hand down the front of his face. “I guess she was wrong then.”

Dean could feel his stomach turning. How had he gotten to this point in his life? He was lying to Castiel, probably the sweetest person he had ever met. He was bringing this guy home with him so that he could lie to his family that he hadn’t really spoken to in years. Why? Because he needed to con his father out of enough money to pay off his debts, so he didn’t get brutally murdered by some bookie’s thugs. Yeah, life had worked out so good for him.

They didn’t do a lot of talking as they got off the plane and worked to get a ride to his parents. Castiel made comments about the area as they rode in the cab. He had never seen a place so beautiful and Dean had to admit that it was true. He grew up in a beautiful place, too beautiful in fact. He knew this place was not for him. That is why he left.

“Wow,” Castiel muttered under his breath as the cab turned and drove up a long driveway to Dean’s parents home. It looked more like a motel than it did a house. His parents, well his father, liked for the world to know that he was better than them.

Once they got out of the cab and Dean paid them, Castiel began to step back, his eyes never leaving the house in front of them.

“I think I am going to stay out here,” Castiel finally spoke, clutching his duffle bag to his body.

“You’ll be okay,” Dean reached over and grabbed Castiel’s hand, holding it tightly and giving him a smile. “You’ll be okay. Come on.”

Dean lead Castiel through the huge double doors and into the entryway. Castiel stopped them occasionally, looking at all of the things that his family owned. If people thought the outside of the house was showy, coming inside made it seem more like a museum.

“Hey mom,” Dean stopped them when they entered one of the living rooms.

“Oh,” Mary turned away from the planner she was talking to. His mother loved to plan events, a wedding for her son was probably like winning the lottery for a rich person. “You’re really here.”

“Yeah,” Dean nodded, placing his hand on Castiel’s back to let him know that he was here for him. “Mom, this is Castiel.”

“Oh, yes,” Mary smiled, reaching out and shaking Castiel’s hand. “Hello.”

“Hi,” Castiel choked out the word.

              “Welcome,” She put on her famous fake smile. “Oh my, what a nice … jacket.”

              Mary looked Castiel over.

              “Oh,” Mary looked down toward the floor. “You have no shoes on.”

              “Oh god, mom,” Dean interrupted. “We are … we are really beat.”

              “Of course,” Mary brought her hands down to her sides and straightened up. “I’ll have Missouri bring in your things.”

              “We don’t really have any things,” Castiel informed her.

              “Your luggage?” She asked, giving Dean a curious look.

              “Yeah, we traveled,” Dean lifted his own duffle. “We travelled light.”

              “Well,” Mary brushed it off, putting her smile back on. “I can always pick you up a suit.”

              “Thanks,” Dean nodded.

              “And remember,” Mary looked between them. “This is the south, so, you’ll have two rooms.”

              “Mom,” Dean began but Castiel interrupted.

              “I wouldn’t stay in the same room with a man.”

              “Yeah,” Dean fought back embarrassment caused by the look on his mother’s face. “We haven’t … we uh … we aren’t …”

              “Oh,” Mary gave Dean another curious look but quickly pulled her smile back. “Well, you’ll be sleeping in Marie Antoinette’s bed.”

              “That’s okay,” Castiel shook his head. “She can have it. I’ll just sleep on the floor.”

              Mary laughed, so Dean laughed. He hoped his mother would see it as a joke.

              “He’s funny,” Mary smiled over at Dean. “No darling. Dean will have his room and you can stay in the guest room.”

              “Oh,” Castiel nodded as Mary began to lead him down a hallway. Dean shook his head towards the both of him. This was going to be a nightmare, but he could pull it off.

              Dean turned and headed for the back of the house. He was not ready to go to his old room. There were too many memories in this house that he did not want to think about. Plus, he needed to clear his head and get things together. Castiel was going to be meeting a lot of people tonight.

              Dean made his way down the stairs and looked out over his family’s property as he lit his cigarette. He could have been so much more, if only he had done as he was told or put a little effort into the resources his family had to offer him. He could have gone to any college he chose and even end up partner in his father’s company. But sex, alcohol, drugs and fun were more important to Dean. Or maybe, he just wanted to show his parents that being rich doesn’t solve the problems of the world.

              “I thought you quit,” the familiar voice of his father came from behind him. Dean didn’t bother turning around.

              “I did,” Dean nodded, bringing the cigarette up to his lips and taking another drag.

              “We haven’t heard from you in a long time,” his father moved on, not going to argue about the cigarettes, at least, not yet anyway.

              “Yeah,” Dean nodded again. He never was the best at having conversations with his old man.

              “So,” his father finally made it to stand beside him, choosing to also look out at the property and not directly at Dean. “When am I going to get to meet this new boyfriend of yours?”

              “At dinner,” Dean informed him. He was less than thrilled about the situation but his father was the main person they needed to convince that this relationship was real.

              “Your mother says he is very handsome,” John said. Dean fought back a laugh. Did his father just refer to another male as handsome?

              “He is,” Dean nodded with a smile. Whether or not they were truly together, Dean could admit that Castiel was amazing to look at. The black, just got fucked hair and those blue, like really fucking blue, eyes. If he wasn’t crazy, Dean would have been all over that. “He’s got me rethinking my future.”

              “Come on,” John tilted his head toward the side. “I want to show you something.”

              Dean followed his father from the back of the house, down toward one of the three garages that his father had. He said they all played a purpose and he couldn’t just have one garage to house his things. Dean figured it was just another way for his father to show people that he had money and it worked.

              “Wow,” Dean took in the look of the turquoise and white motor home in front of him. It was a 1969 Travco. His father had always talked about owning one but had never actually done it, until now.

              “It’s the American dream on four wheels,” John looked at the motor home the way men were supposed to look at their family and loved ones. It was a look that Dean never saw from the man often. “It’s even got a china cabinet.”

              “China cabinet?” Dean faked interest without seeming fake, at least, he hoped his was pulling it off. “Really?”

              “There are only two others in decent condition in the whole country.” His father looked from the motor home toward Dean. Why his father felt the need to show off to him was beyond him, but he knew his father was trying to make some kind of point. “And I practically stole it.”

              “Well, hey,” Dean smiled at his father. “It’s good to be king.”

              “You’re damn right it is,” His father agreed, walking over and placing a hand on Dean’s shoulder. “Time for a drink.”


	8. Chapter eight

              Dean looked himself over in the mirror one more time. He knew what this night would bring, and his father always taught him that the first step to making a successful business deal was looking like a successful business man. So, he wore a decent suit he had pulled out of his closet and straightened his tie in the mirror one more time before making his way down the stairs into the living room. Immediately, his eyes landed on his brother and damn if it wasn’t good to see him.

              “Hey,” Sam caught Dean out of the corner of his eye and rushed up to him, pulling him into a bone crushing hug. Dean made sure to lock on, he wanted it to last, who knew when it would happen again. “Mom said you were coming but I didn’t believe it.”

              “Yeah, no,” they finally pulled apart and Dean looked his brother over. “I’m here.”

              “How are you doing?” Sam asked, all smiles and exactly how Dean had remembered him.

              “Good,” Dean rubbed his hands down the front of his pants, trying to fight back the nerves. He wished he could say he was here for Sam and Sam alone, but he knew that was a lie; he actually felt bad about that.

              “I’ll grab Ruby,” Sam turned and made his way back over to where he was standing before. He grabbed a small brunette away from the group of people and dragged her behind him, heading back toward Dean.

              “I don’t suppose you’re on the wagon?” His father appeared beside him and handed him a glass of what he automatically knew was Scotch.

              “No,” Dean laughed, grabbing the glass and taking a quick drink. “Not unless there is booze on it.”

              “Uh well,” His father held up his glass to Dean. “To Sam.”

              “To Sam,” Dean nodded his head and took another drink, this time his father joining in.

              “So,” Dean’s father turned to him, looking him over. “Where is this guy of yours?”

              “Oh,” Dean looked around, realizing that Castiel was no where to be seen. “He’s coming down in a bit. He’s just … he’s kind of shy.”

              “Oh,” Dean smiled as he saw Cas approaching them. “Here he is.”

              “I’m a nurse,” Cas stated as soon as he was standing in front of Dean’s father. Dean nearly spit out his drink but his father’s immediate laughter calmed his nerves slightly.

              “Oh, well, that’s great,” Dean’s father reached out his hand to shake Cas’. Cas hesitated but soon held out his hand. “Because, I’m actually coming down with something, I think.”

              “Dad,” Dean cleared his throat. “This is Castiel.”

              “Oh,” his looked Cas over. “Well, you can call me John. And this man right behind you is Sam, Dean’s little brother.”

              “Giant,” Dean coughed into his hand, causing Sam to give him his ever famous bitch face; god, Dean had missed him.

              “Hello,” Sam held out his hand for Cas as well, this time less hesitation on Cas’ part. “And this is Ruby.”

              “I’ve heard so much about you,” She held out her hand to shake Dean’s hand but he pulled her in for a hug instead.

              “Well,” Dean laughed, finally pulling back. “It’s all true.”

              “I’m Castiel,” Cas introduced himself to Sam and Ruby. “I’m a nurse.”

              “Well,” Ruby smiled at Cas. “Thank y’all so much for coming. It was such a surprise. Sam said you met at a hospital.”

              “Yeah, we did.” Dean nodded, making sure to take as much conversation away from Cas as possible. He liked the guy, but he was not the best at conversing with others. “It’s a great story.”

              “Yeah,” Cas stepped in. “We met at a hospital, where I am a nurse.”

              “Yeah,” Dean laughed. “They got that part, hon.”

              “Did you tell them the part where you saved me from a doctor who wasn’t really a doctor?” Cas asked.

              “Oh god,” Ruby laughed, a fake laugh. Dean wasn’t sure he liked this girl just yet. “Never date a doctor. They are so emotionally remote”

              “You dated a doctor?” Cas asked.

              “No,” Ruby shook her head. “I read an article about it.”

              “God,” Cas looked Ruby over. “You are so skinny. I can see your bones.”

              “Thank you,” Ruby accepted the words as a compliment. Yeah, Dean did not like her.

              Once all the introductions and mingling were over with, all the guests made their way into the over sized dining room. They only ever used it for parties. It was way too big for small family dinners. Not like they ever had any of those.

              “Oh, my god,” Dean turned to see Cas taking a sip of his champagne. “This is like drinking perfume.”

              “Well, that’s pretty much what it costs,” Dean’s father laughed from the other side of the table.

              “Have all you want, darling,” Dean’s mom added in from the other side of the table.

              “I’d like to make a toast,” John pulled everyone’s attention to him by tapping on his glass. “To um … to Ruby and Sam. Ruby, we are so proud and grateful to welcome you as a member of the family. And I just want to wish you both all the happiness that money cannot buy. Cheers”

              “Cheers.” The words echoed through the room.

              After the toast was complete, the first of the dinner made its way out of the kitchen. Foie Gras was always served at major functions. It was not the worst but it was no where near something Dean would ever order on his own.

              “There you go,” a waitress set a plate down in front of Dean and then one down in front of Cas.

              “I can’t eat this,” Cas leaned over and whispered to Dean, only not as quiet as he could have been.

              “Why not?” Dean asked.

              “Uh,” Cas looked down at the food in front of him. “I think it’s fancy feast.”

              The sound of forks being set down echoed through the room.

              “That’s cat food,” Cas tried unsuccessfully to whisper again.

              “No,” Dean nodded, looking around the room. “I got that; I know what you meant.”

              “Are you gonna eat it?” Cas asked to the guest sitting on the other side of him.”

              “Actually,” Mary smiled over at Cas. “It’s Sam’s favorite.”

              “Not,” Sam cleared his throat. “Not really.”

              “They force-feed the goose so it’s liver distends,” Ruby added in. “I saw a documentary about it. I literally cried.”

              “Aww,” Cas leaned back in his chair.

              “Okay, that’s it,” John raised his hand in the air and motioned for the waiters. “Bring in the goddamn salads.”

              There was an uproar of laughter throughout the room. Dean felt a sense of pride wash over him. He was happy that they all liked Cas. Why he was happy about that was still undetermined. Maybe that meant this plan was going to work out after all.              

              “So,” John pulled the conversation in once the salads were served. “Tell us about this new job of yours.”

              “Uh,” Dean cleared his throat and set his fork down. “It's nothing glamorous. Just hospital administration.”

“Well, at least you're not mopping floors,” John laughed.

“Actually, dad,” Dean figured now was as good of a time as any. “I'm looking into some new business ventures.”

“Oh really, Dean?” Dean could see his dad’s face drop instantly. He knew his son all to well. “That’s wonderful.”

“Really?” Dean felt more confused than ever with his father.

“What kind of ventures?” John inquired.

“Sports and entertainment, mostly.” Dean needed to make sure he chose his words wisely. “New gaming applications.”

“What does that mean?” John questioned.

“Well, uh, I'm interested in a little start-up that has an app for placing bets in real time.”

“Gambling.” John went ahead and said the word for him. “Well, so much for your M.B.A.”

“Well, capitalism is based on gambling. Isn't it, dad?” Dean was not going to give up that easily. Talking people into things was another thing he learned from his father.

“Oh, it sounds interesting.” Mary tried to throw in some words of encouragement.”

“He's also involved in a dance club.” Cas blurted out.

You invested in a club?” Sam asked.

“Yeah,” Dean nodded. “I don’t want to bore everyone with that. But at some point, dad, I would like to sit down and talk more about this.”

“So, you came back for money.” John didn’t ask, he stated.

“No, I didn’t come back for money,” Dean shook his head, even though he was lying. “I came back to see my little brother get married. But you’re the one that taught me to always be looking for new opportunities.”

“Well, you have every opportunity in the world when you were here,” Dean watched his dad work to keep his temper down. “Except, you decided to …”

              “John,” Mary raised her voice just enough to let them all know that this was not the time or the place for John to bring up Dean’s past.”

“I also taught you to have a plan.” His father changed the subject for now.

He actually does have a plan, John,” Cas spoke up. “And, it’s a very good one. We just can’t talk about it right now.”

“You’re part of this?” His father asked, looking between Dean and Cas.

              “Yes,” Cas nodded.

              “Well, then,” his father’s body seemed to relax. “Let’s talk about it later.”

              “Let’s,” Cas raised his glass and took a drink of his champagne.”

_____

              “I’ve never had champagne before,” Cas admitted as Dean helped him get back to his room.

              “Yeah,” Dean laughed, holding Cas up, helping him not fall to the ground or crash into anything. “I kind of figured that. You did great, by the way. Everyone really liked you.”

              “Yeah?” Cas looked up at Dean. His eyes were glazed over but his smile, it was truly genuine.

              “Yeah,” Dean promised. “They did.”

              “I’ll see you in the morning,” Cas placed his hand on Dean’s chest as he leaned against the door to his room.

              “Okay,” Dean agreed, pulling away and walking toward his room.

              “Okay,” he heard Cas whisper behind him. “Okay.”


	9. Chapter 9

“Uh-huh?” Dean grumbled at the incoherent sound coming from above him.

“Honey?” The clear voice of his mother woke him up just a little more.

Dean took a deep breath before turning in his bed. His mother was sitting beside him, a smile he had missed seeing in the morning. His mother, no matter how much he messed up in life, always managed to look at him like he was still her precious baby boy. He hated how much he had let her down in life but was grateful that she never let it show.

“Hmm?”

“He’s cleaning the bathroom,” his mother's face dropped to something resembling a confused look.

“Who?” Dean was not sure what his mother was getting at.

“Castiel,” she clarified.

“So?” Sure, it was weird, but not the strangest thing he had ever head.

“He’s cleaning our bathroom,” his mother pointed out.

“Oh,” Dean sat up in bed and ran his hand over his face. “I’ll go check on him.”

“You do that honey,” she gave him a warm smile before making her way out of his room.

Dean allowed himself a few more minutes to wake up before rummaging around the room for a shirt. He then made his way into his parents’ room and hesitated before pulling open the door to the bathroom connected to it.

“Hey, there.” Dean made his way in and took a seat on the edge of the bathtub.

“Hi,” Cas looked over at him with a small smile as he continued to scrub at the sink and counter tops.

“Hi,” Dean said again, looking over Cas, and were those? Were those his pajamas? “Where’d you get those?”

“Oh, um,” Cas looked down at his clothes. “I found them in this box in the closet marked ‘Dean’.”

“Ah,” Dean nodded, watching as Cas continued to work away at the bathroom. “Hey, uh, why are you cleaning the bathroom?”

“I clean,” Cas answered as if it were as simple as that. “That’s what I do. I did all the … the cooking and the cleaning for my mother.”

“Okay.” That made a little more sense but didn’t really answer his question as to why he was cleaning now and in his parents’ bathroom.

“Hey,” Dean reached over and grabbed the scrub brush from Cas’ hand. “Give me that.”

Cas looked at Dean with confusion, sitting down on his knees in front of Dean.

“Listen,” Dean set the brush down and turned himself toward Cas. “You don’t have to do any of that here. Okay?”

“My mother said this is how you earn love,” Cas looked up at Dean with hopeful eyes. Was he trying to earn Dean’s love?

“Huh?” Dean could not believe someone’s mother would say something like that to them. “Uh, wait. I thought you didn’t have any family?”

“I don’t,” Cas sat himself back onto his feet, his eyes falling toward the floor. “She’s dead.”

“Well, I’m sorry,” Dean reached out and grabbed Cas’ chin, forcing him to look up and make eye contact. “Your mother didn’t know what the hell she was talking about. You love people because you love them and that’s it.”

Cas looked at Dean for a few moments before turning away, his normally perky presence turned into something sad and small. It made Dean’s heart sink. He regretted brining Cas here, even though at the same time, he enjoyed the time he got to spend with the man, crazy or not. However, he felt like he was doing the man more harm than good in all of this.

“What?” Dean asked.

“My mother is dead,” Cas finally looked back up at Dean. “She is dead because … I killed her.”

“Hmm?” Dean cocked his head to the side. What? Killed? Cas killed her? That can’t be right. What?

“I killed her,” Cas said the words again. “That’s why they put me in the hospital.”

“Okay,” Dean tried to remain calm. From what he heard about Cas’ mom, she seemed like a real piece of work. Maybe it was self-defense. Maybe she deserved it. Maybe Cas really is a lunatic and he is going to murder Dean and his family in their sleep. Okay, maybe not that last one. He may not know Cas that well, but there doesn’t seem to be a single mean bone in his body. And he seems to really like Dean, so that will probably save Dean’s life. Probably.

______

“Oh, my.” Mary looked him over with a hand going up over her mouth.

“It doesn't really cover up everything that it's supposed to.” Cas looked at himself in the mirror. He was wearing a tight black pair of leather pants and a shirt that only covered his stomach if he kept his hands at his sides. That wasn't nearly as bad as the black combat looking boots that were a little too big for his feet. He felt like he was going to fall over a few times today.

“Well  it's barely a clothing at all.” Mary informed him, looking him up and down in the mirror.

“Dean borrowed it from a stripper.” Cas admitted to her.

“You're probably not joking, are you?” Mary looked concerned but also on the verge of laughter. “Come.”

Mary took Cas’ hand and led him out of the room he was staying in and down the hall toward her room. Cas was nervous, unsure of what was going to happen. His own mother was never this nice to him and he kept wondering when the mean side of Mary was going to come out. He hoped never, because he really liked her.

“Now, I've kept every tuxedo John has ever worn,” Mary sat Cas down on the edge of her bed and stepped into her closet. It was bigger than the room he spent his whole life in. “I knew they would come in handy someday."

Mary and Cas worked through multiple suits. The majority of them were too big but they finally found one from John’s younger years that fit him perfectly. Cas had never worn a suit. It was slightly uncomfortable but Cas looked at himself and couldn't help feeling like a person of worth.

“You're stunning,” Mary reached out and caressed his cheek. “Can I maybe see if we can get that hair under control? Only if you like.”

“I would like that quite a bit actually,” Cas nodded. He was never able to get it to stay down. Maybe Mary would have better luck.

________

 

“Sorry to keep you waiting, boys.” Dean watched his mother descend the stairs, looking stunning as always. “We needed a little extra time.”

Dean looked up from his mother when he noticed Cas begin to make his way down the stairs. He looked amazing. Dean had always been attracted to Cas but in this moment, he seemed real. Like the man his parents would love to bring home, but not so much so that he would dislike the man. He was … perfect.

“Wow.” The words slipped from Dean's mouth before he even had a chance to stop himself.

“Thank you, Dean,” Cas smiled at him as he reached the bottom of the stairs. “I feel a little ridiculous.”

“Well you look amazing,” Dean promised. He turned holding out his arm for them to link them together. “Shall we?”

______

Dean was proud of his little brother getting married but also sad at the same time. Dean was sitting in the pews with Castiel. He wasn't up there, standing by his brothers side the way they imagined it when they were kids. A lot has happened since then and they had both changed quite a lot, Dean more than Sam. But still, it was kind of heartbreaking not standing up next to his brother.

“Here.” Dean turned to see Cas out in the isle, picking up the flower pedals off the ground and putting them back into the flower girls basket. “You're dropping them.”

“Um, that's the point,” the little girl said with a glare and her hands on her hips.

“No, no, no, no, no.” Dean reached for Cas, pulling him back to sit down. “No, no, no, no, no. Come on. Sit.”

Dean looked out to see all eyes were plastered on him and Cas. He fought through the embarrassment and forced a smile.

“Continue.” He nodded toward the flower girl “Continue on.”

Dean then leaned into Cas, making sure he would be the only one that could hear him when he spoke.

“Okay.” Dean forced himself to remain calm “We're gonna sit, we're gonna watch, and we're gonna clap when it's over. Okay?”

“Okay,” Cas nodded, putting his hands in his lap.

“Okay,” Dean smiled. He had it under control. They could do this.


	10. chapter ten

“I, um...” Dean’s father grabbed him just outside of the reception venue, pulling him aside. I've been thinking about what you said last night.”

“What did I say?” Dean asked, remembering saying quite a bit the night before.

“You know,” John relaxed a little, sticking his hands into his pockets. “I don't take any pleasure in watching you struggle.”

“I am not struggling, dad.” Dean shook his head, wishing he could just walk away. This was not how he wanted to start this conversation with his father.

“Throwing money at a start-up is like throwing darts at a mosquito.” His father knew what he was talking about. Dean knew this. That didn’t change anything. Whether his father was right or not, it was Dean’s only option.

“So, what,” Dean turned back to his father. “Do you think the guys at Mac and Amazon feel that way?”

“For every one of those breakthroughs, there's a thousand failures.” John argued back. Dean hated to admit it, but he got his arguing skills from his father. They were both stubborn, hard headed and set in their ways. Neither one of them was good at admitting they were wrong or backing down, even when they needed to. “Everybody thinks he's gonna be the exception of the rule.”

“Yeah, but, dad.” It was Dean’s turn to argue his points. “I've done my research. This company I'm talking about has got sound fundamentals, it's well capitalized, and it's got an excellent board.”

“How much are you looking for?” John inquired.

“Thirty-five grand to forty grand will get us in the door.”

__________

 

“So, how long have you been with Dean?” A random woman at the table Cas sat at began to ask him questions.

“Um, three days.” Cas answered honestly.

“And he's brought you home to meet the family?”

“We have a plan.” Cas nodded.

“Impressive.” The woman turned to look at the other woman sitting around. “We had a little thing, like, eons ago.”

“Oh, my God.” This beautiful woman, with darker skin and stunning eyes smiled. “So did we.”

“Um, just a little advice.” The first woman jumped back in. “He gets a stiffy for every pretty little thing he sees.”

“Hmm.” Cas tried to understand what was being said to him, but he honestly had no clue what they meant.

Cas mingled around after that. He was not sure where Dean was. But luckily, everyone seemed to be super friendly and wanted to talk with him. Cas had never really talked to people and now here were all of these people who wanted to know about him. He wasn’t sure how much to tell people though. He did not want to get Dean in trouble.

“And what do you do, dear?” An older woman, who was dressed in a dress that looked like it was made of glitter, pulled Cas aside and into a small group of other older people, gathered around and laughing.

“I'm a nurse.” Cas blurted out quickly.

“A nurse,” she exclaimed excitedly. “Oh, Lou, show him that thing on your back.”

Luckily it was a joke. Cas was scared this man was going to take off his shirt and show Cas something gross on his back. It took a lot to really gross him out but he felt this would be one of those things.

“Such lovely families.” Another woman stepped in and turned the conversation away from Cas. For this, he was grateful. “I'd love to have their combined net worth, I'll tell you.”

“Oh, you can tell Winchester's are still pissed off about that Hoffman scandal.” More random people putting in their two cents worth.

“I think it is a shame about his older boy.” The man that had been identified as Lou added in. “Still, the pair of balls that kid had.”

“While Winchester's closing the deal with Hoffman,” new man speaking could barely get the words out without laughing, “the kid is upstairs screwing the wife. I mean, you can't make that stuff up.”

______

 

“Thank you.” Cas smiled at Dean when he appeared, handing him a glass of champagne.

“Hey, I've been looking all over for you.” Dean wrapped his arm around Cas’ back and pulled him away from the group of people he was surrounded by. Just a bunch of people who couldn’t keep other people’s business to themselves. Not the kind of people Cas needed to be hanging around.

“Can we dance now?” Cas asked, looking toward the dance floor.

“You want to dance?” Dean swallowed nervously. “Uh... Okay, okay. Let's dance.”

              Dean grabbed a hold of Cas’ hand and led him to the middle of the dance floor. He pulled Cas into him slightly, one hand placed on the lower end of Cas’ back and one holding onto his hand. Cas mimicked what Dean had done. Dean then began to move them slowly side to side.

“Where did you learn how to do that?” Cas asked curiously.

“Dancing was kind of a requirement in my family,” Dean took a chance and spun them around. Cas’ face lighting up as they did so. It was the greatest thing Dean had ever seen, and for a split moment, he wanted to kiss him. But he pushed those feelings away. He didn’t need Cas to get more invested in this than he already was.

Cas let Dean lead, which was good. Cas seemed a little unsure of himself on his feet.

              “It's okay. Relax.” Dean pulled Cas in a little closer. “You can grab hold of me anytime.”

I've never grabbed anyone before.” Cas blushed. “I've never even danced with anyone.”

“Come on.” Dean could not believe his ears.  “What about school dances growing up?”

“I didn't go to school.” Cas admitted.

“Are you kidding?”

“I don't think I'm kidding.” Cas shook his head. “That's why no one can understand me.”

“What about me?” Dean asked. He felt he was doing pretty good at understanding Cas. Maybe?

“I don't think they understand you, either.” Cas smiled.

“May I borrow him?” Dean’s mother appeared beside them, absolutely stunning and glowing. “A mother doesn't get many chances.”

“May I?” Dean’s father appeared next. Was he seriously asking Cas to dance with him?

______

“Well, I got to hand it to Dean.” Dean’s father held Cas differently. It was slightly uncomfortable, but Cas did his best to not let it show. “You're just...Not what I expected. Where did you guys meet?”

“The hospital.” Cas reminded him.

“Castiel,” Dean’s father turned them so they were moving away from Mary and Dean. “Dean wouldn't be working at a hospital unless there was a catch.”

“Catch?” Cas asked, scared of where this was going.

“Yes, a catch.” John’s grip on Cas was a little tighter than he would have liked. He wanted Dean back now. “And you know the catch.”

“I do?”

“Yeah.” John nodded. “You know, I can't help him unless I know the truth. What's he really doing in L.A.?”

“I'm not lying.” Cas blurted out, his eyes darting around the room, trying to find Dean. He needed Dean.

“I just want the truth, Castiel.”

“I can't talk anymore.” Cas broke away from John and took a step back. The room was spinning. Where was Dean?

“Castiel, who are you?” John asked.

Castiel couldn’t breathe. He needed to get out of here. He shouldn’t be here. Dean was going to be so mad at him. He had ruined everything because he couldn’t answer a few simple questions. This was supposed to be simple. Cas had messed it up.

______

Dean had been watching his father and Cas on the other side of the dance floor. At first things seemed fine, but Cas’ features started to drop more and more. Dean wanted to rush over to him but he did not want anyone to be suspicious. But, when Cas pulled away and looked like he was having a panic attack, Dean broke away from his mother and ran over to Cas’ side.

“What's happening?” Dean asked Cas, trying to make sure he was alright.

“Something's wrong with him.” His father had with anger in his voice.

“It's okay.” Dean ran his hand up and down Cas’ back, trying to calm him down. “He's fine. He's fine.”

“He's not fine.” His father argued.

“He's fine.” Dean yelled at his father, causing people to start looking their way. “He's had too much champagne. He needs some air.”

“Come on.” His mother stepped up and took Cas by the arm, leading him toward the entrance of the building. “Let's get him outside.”

“That's okay. I got it.” Dean grabbed Cas and wrapped his arm around him. “Go back to your dance.”

“You need to get him to a doctor.” His father and mother were right behind them.

“He's fine, dad.”

“Dean, look at him.” His father grabbed him by the arm, spinning him around, just as he was hailing a taxi. “You don't take him, we will.”

Dean ignored his father and helped Cas into the cab that stopped for them.

“Who is he, Dean?” His father asked.

“It's not what you think, dad. Leave it alone.”

“It's obviously much worse than I think.”

“Honey, what is it?” His mother asked in her overly concerned voice.

“I'm a janitor in a mental hospital.” Dean yelled at both his parents, angry that they could not leave well enough alone. “It's part of my probation. He's a patient.”

“That's perfect.” His father threw his hands up.

“Yeah, it's perfect.” Dean shook his head at his father. At least his father got to know he was right. Dean was just a screw up.  Dean looked at his parents one last time and then climbed into the cab, slamming the door behind him.

“You okay?” Dean leaned into Cas, checking to make sure he was okay.

“Are we done with the plan now?” Cas asked, his eyes looking to be on the verge of tears.

“Yeah,” Dean nodded, forcing a small smile. “We're done.”


	11. Chapter Eleven

“There's got to be keys in one of these.” Dean ran around his father’s garage, looking into all of the cars. He checked under all the visors, looking in all the glove compartments, even looked under the cars, but there was nothing. “Shit.”

“Why can't we just fly back on the plane?” Cas asked.

“Because I violated my probation and you're an escaped mental patient.” Dean said as he continued to search around the garage. He was hopeful that he would be able to find at least one key.

“Is that bad?” Dean had forgotten how much Cas truly didn’t understand.

“Yeah, that's bad.” Dean stood up and looked around. Where would they hide a key? “I'm sure they're gonna be looking for us by now.”

“Hey.” Dean turned to Cas, who was hanging out the window of John’s precious motor home. “What about this big shiny one?”

That was a horrible idea. He couldn’t take his father’s prized possession. He had talked about this motor home Dean’s entire life and now he finally had one. On the other hand, his dad cared more about this damn motor home than his own son.

“Come on.” Dean ran around to the door and let himself into the motor home and straight for the driver’s seat. “God damn it.”

_____

“Look,” Cas called from the back of the motor home. Dean looked through the rear view mirror to see the man messing around with things in the kitchen. “These stick to the wall!”

Dean laughed, and then turned his attention back to the road.

“Oh, my God.” Cas cried out again. “There's no water in the toilet.”

“What?”

They drove for a couple more hours. Dean was trying to figure out what he was going to do. He was out of luck with his father. He was never going to get the money to pay off the bookie, so he was probably going to die. And if he didn’t die, he had violated his parole and kidnapped a mental patient and took them half way across the united states. Death or no, this was going to end up with him in prison for sure.

Knowing that he was completely screwed, Dean pulled them into a bus station in a small down off the freeway. He needed to pace, make a few phone calls and figure a few things out.

“Stay here.” Dean led Cas over to some chairs inside of the bus station. “I got to make a phone call. Uh, here.”

Dean pulled a few dollars out of his wallet and handed them to Cas.

“I don't need any money.” Cas shook his head.

“There's some vending machines over there.” Dean pointed out. “Just, uh … here. Take it. It’s not going to be long.”

______

              Dean pulled into a used car lot he had seen one his way to the bus station. He needed to get rid of this thing and quick.

              “See, I'm telling you.” Dean showed the salesman the perfect condition of the motor home. “She is a classic, okay? She really belongs in a museum.”

“What's the catch?” The salesman asked.

“I can't remember where I put the title.”

_____

“Excuse me, sir,” A man in a uniform approached Cas. “Is there something I can help you with?”

“Uh...” Cas looked around the station. It was starting to clear out. “My boyfriend is just making a phone call. So, it shouldn't be long.”

“How come you got no shoes?” The man asked. “There's a rule here in the station. You got to have shoes.”

Cas looked around panicked. Dean wasn’t back and he had no idea where to go. If he had to leave, where was he supposed to go?

“No, it's not like I'm gonna turn you in or anything.” The man reassured Cas he wasn’t going to kick him out. “I was just worried maybe your feet might get cold.”

The man finally left Cas alone. Cas sat, watching the time on the clock click by. Dean had been gone for four hours now and it was starting to get late. Eventually, the man who kept speaking over the speakers let everyone in the bus station know that it was last call. Where was Dean?

_____

 

“Winchester,” Dr. Singer was clearly angry on the other line. “Where are you?”

“Uh,” Dean looked around. “I'd say somewhere between screwed and totally fucked.”

“Yeah, no kidding.” Dr. Singer agreed.

“Larry said,” Dr. Singer began again.

“Yeah, well,” Dean could feel the anger from that night come to the surface all over again. “Larry's an evil liar. I saved Castiel from him. Just ask Mr. James.”

“Mr. James thinks he's in planetary orbit and that I am from Alpha Centauri.” Dr. Singer was growing angrier, but Dean couldn’t seem to care. “Now, tell me where Mr. Novak is before you make this worse for yourself.”

“He's okay.” Dean hoped. “He's safe. He's fine.”

“He is not fine.” Dr. Singer’s voice got very serious. “He is quite possibly psychotic or schizophrenic.”

“Yeah, I don't know, doc.” Dean didn’t believe a word of it. “I haven't seen him talking

to anyone who's not there or anything like that.”

“Listen to me, Winchester.” Dr. Singer interrupted. “This boy has spent virtually his entire life

locked inside the house. His social awareness, his ability to cope are almost certainly severely impaired.

“Besides the occasional panic attack and, you know, not liking shoes,” Dean still didn’t think Cas was crazy. “I think he's highly functional. I'm actually thinking it's a little post-traumatic stress.”

“Are you kidding me?” Dr. Singer laughed, but it was not because he found Dean funny. “You are not a doctor!”

“He's at the greyhound bus station in Shreveport, okay?” Dean gave Singer exactly what he wanted. “That's in Louisiana.”

“No, Wheeler, you can't...” Dr. Singer began but Dean hung up on him. He couldn’t do this anymore.

“God damn it!” Dean yelled, slamming his hands against the steering wheel.”

_____

“Um...” Cas walked up to the man behind the counter. “Can you help me get home?”

“Oh, well,” the man looked Cas over curiously. “That depends on where home is. Where do you want to go?”

Cas thought about it. He didn’t have a home. He didn’t know where he was supposed to be going. He didn’t know anything. He looked up at the list of towns the buses were heading to but nothing stood out at him. And then it happened. In the reflection of the metal surrounding the counter, he appeared. He came back. Cas quickly turned around, coming face to face with a very sad looking Dean.

“No more phone calls?” Cas asked, fighting back his own sadness.

“No,” Dean shook his head, walking forward and wrapping his arms around Cas. “No more phone calls.”


	12. chapter twelve

Dean found them a place to pull over and sleep for a while. He knew that he couldn’t drive through the night. But they were right back on the road the next morning. He still wasn’t sure where they were headed but they needed to keep going. Stopping was the worst thing they could do.

“You go inside and get a few things.” Dean handed Cas some money outside of the grocery store. “I'm gonna be outside having a smoke. Go ahead. Get whatever you want.”

Dean lit up his cigarette and looked out at the nearly empty parking lot. He needed to figure some things out. Where they could go. How he could get some money to survive. Maybe he could find some people around who would pay him under the table to do some odd jobs. People did things like that all the time. Maybe he could find someone who would actually buy the motor home, even though it would be clear that it was stolen. However, it was the only home they had at the moment.

“Shit,” Dean whispered under his voice, noticing the cop that was currently stepping out of his vehicle. Dean quickly put out his cigarette and made his way into the store.

“Nine items or less.” Dean could hear the lady tell Cas as he began to approach.

"I d... I don't understand.” Cas looked from the food on the grocery belt back to the lady.

“You can only have nine items.” The lady informed him.

“But I need all of this.” Cas was getting frustrated.

“Okay. Well, then you're in the wrong line.”

“We got to go.” Dean finally made it to Cas and grabbed him by the hand, pulling him out of the line. “We got to go. Come on.”

Cas followed him without question out of the grocery store. Dean did not deserve that kind of trust, but Cas seemed to trust him more than anything. Just another person he was sure to let down in the end.

“I...” Cas looked quickly back at the grocery store. “My mother never let me go shopping. You know, I can cook, but I just don't know how to pick things. And I was really excited about those powdered doughnuts!”

“Hey!” The officer called from behind them and Dean forced them to pick up speed toward the motor home.

“I think that police officer is talking to us.” Cas turned to Dean, worried that Dean had not heard him.

“I get that.” Dean opened the door to the motor home and helped Cas in. “Thank you.”

Dean quickly started the motor home and pulled them out of the parking lot. Dean watched through the mirror as the cop climbed into his car and immediately turned on his siren.

“There's a thing.” Cas called out, pointing to a medium that Dean was getting awfully close to as they made their way down the street.

“Yep. Got it.” Dean forced himself to keep his eyes on the road. He knew he was being followed, looking back was not going to change that. “Everything's fine.”

“Hey, I think that police officer's following us.” Cas seemed more curious than concerned.

“Yeah, thank you.” Dean looked back at the lights following them. “I see that.”

“He's still following!” Cas had made his way to the back of the motor home and was actually waving at the cop through the window. Dean tried to remain serious but he could not help but laugh at how innocent Cas was. “He's getting closer.”

“No, I-I see. I see.” Dean informed him. “Thank you.”

“He's even closer!” Cas continued to inform Dean of things he already knew.

“Hold on to something!” Dean instructed.

Dean cut through traffic, thankful they didn’t hit anyone and then took a sharp turn off the exit. He watched as the cop continued on down the high way. That didn’t mean he got to slow down. He needed to get as far away from this point as possible. The cop was bound to come back.

“Whoo!” Cas said excitedly, climbing back into the passanger seat. “We lost him!”

              Dean continued to drive for a few hours. Once he was satisfied that they were no longer being followed, he pulled off along side the road. He couldn’t go on anymore. He had been fighting his eyes for the last half hour and his eyes were currently winning.

“Okay, you're gonna have to drive for a while.” Dean turned to Cas, who was now looking at him with wide eyes.

“I don't know how to drive.” Cas shook his head.

“Right.” Of course, he didn’t know how to drive.

“My mom said that driving gets you pregnant.” Dean laughed. Shit, Cas’ mom was a piece of work.

“God, your mother told you a lot of crazy-ass shit, didn't she?” Dean instantly regretted his words. He didn’t mean to speak badly about Cas’ mom. “Sorry.”

“My mom did tell me a lot of crazy-ass shit.” Cas laughed. “But she let me watch TV. But just "TV land" and CMT, stuff like that. She didn't like any of the other channels.”

“If you never went to school, how'd you learn to read and stuff?” Dean asked.

“She taught me.” Cas smiled, as if the memories weren’t all bad. “That was mostly so we could play scrabble 'cause she loved it. Except you had to let her win. Always let her win.”

“Okay.” Dean nodded. “Well, if I'm gonna drive solo, I got to sleep for a few hours. But just a few hours and then you got to wake me up, okay?”

“Okay.” Cas agreed. “Yeah, I can do that.”

“Okay.”

_____

              Dean jumped as he felt himself being shook but calmed down when he saw that it was Cas kneeling beside the bed he was sleeping in.

              “What?” Dean looked at Cas’ face. He was looking at him with a great amount of curiosity. “Hi. What?”

              “You make funny noises when you sleep.” Cas smiled.

“Really?”

“Uh huh,” Cas nodded. “And there's a cop outside.”

“What?” Dean jumped up quickly. “Why didn't you wake me up?”

“I did right now.” Cas cocked his head to the side. “You're up. Are we in trouble?”

“No.” Dean shook his head at Cas.  “I-I'm in trouble. That guy's gonna throw my sorry ass in jail.”

“Well, maybe we can ask him not to.” Cas suggested.

“What?”

There was a knock at the door, causing both of them to jump. Dean looked around in a panic and then opened the door to the bathroom. It took every amount of effort he could find. It smelt horrible in there. They had no water and had yet to find time to hook themselves up to a water supply, but it was the only place big enough to hide.

_____

              Cas opened up the door, coming face to face with the police officer.

“My boyfriend ran that way when he saw your lights,” Cas pointed out into the dark woods behind the cop. “Cause he thinks you're gonna throw his sorry ass in jail.”

“All right, sir.” The officer shined his light in Cas’ face. “I need you to step out of the vehicle.”

“Um, actually,” Cas stepped back. “I think I'd rather stay inside.”

The officer stepped in and pointed toward the front of the vehicle, informing Cas that he wanted him to be standing there so he could keep an eye on him. Cas nearly jumped when he opened the door to the bathroom, hopefully Dean was in the shower.

“Um, there's no water in the toilet, so we can't flush.” Cas informed the officer as he quickly slammed the door.

“Ugh. Lord, have mercy.” He called out before turning back to Cas. “What's your boyfriend's name?”

“His name?”

“Yeah, his name.”

“Beaver.” Cas said quickly. It was the first thing he could think of with them being in the woods and all.

“Did you say beaver?” The officer asked.

“Yep,” Cas nodded. “Beaver.”

“Beaver was my daddy's name.” The officer smiled fondly.

“Really?”

“You say he went that way?” The officer pointed out into the woods.

“Yes officer,” Cas nodded.

“Stay here,” the officer instructed.

Dean,” Cas called out quietly. “He went out in the woods to look for you.”

Dean quickly came out the bathroom and began to take deep breaths. It was never any fun being in there. Cas avoided it unless he really had to go.

Cas waited until the officer was out of sight and then climbed out of the motor home. He ran toward the cop car and pulled his body through the window. He grabbed the keys from the ignition and threw them out into the woods before running back inside of the motor home.

“What did you do?” Dean asked as soon as Cas returned.

“I threw his keys away.”

“Why?” Dean asked.

“'Cause if you go to jail, we can't be together.” Cas smiled over at Dean and was pleased when he got a smile back.

“You are hardcore.” Dean leaned forward and lightly kissed Cas.

Cas’ eyes shot open, never having been kissed before but quickly closed them. This was nice.

“I am?” Cas asked as Dean pulled away.

“Yeah,” Dean smiled again, bringing himself to his feet. “Let's get out of here.”


	13. chapter thirteen

“I'm so hungry.” Cas grumbled from the passenger seat.

“Yeah, me too.” Dean admitted. They didn’t really have a lot to eat and the last time they tried to buy food, they ended up in a police chase. To be fair, the night ended better than Dean would have expected.

“And I have to go big potty.” Cas looked over at Dean.

Dean kept an eye on signs along the road. When a sign for an RV park appeared, Dean figured that would be there best bet. They could at least hook up to some water maybe and get a good nights sleep. They paid the money at the front office and parked in their designated spot.

“Okay,” Dean turned to Cas. “Just go along with me. Okay?”

“Okay,” Cas nodded.

Dean led them out of the motor home and walked around for a moment, finally spotting a family sitting outside. This was there chance.

“Hi,” Dean walked up and waved, plastering a smile on his face.

“Hey, there.” The man smiled back over at Dean.

“How are you?” The woman looked up at them both. “Come on over.”

“I'm Dave Willock,” the man stood up and held out a hand to Dean, which he gladly accepted.           “I'm Dean.” He introduced himself before turning to Cas. “And this is m-my boyfriend, Castiel.”

"Our bathroom is broken.” Cas said instead of introducing himself, shuffling on his feet.

“You want to use ours?” The woman offered. Cas nodded. “Go ahead.”

“Then come on and join us by the fire,” Dave called after Cas.

Dean was glad they actually met some nice people. They offered them food and beer, which Cas declined and opted for a soda instead. He had decided after all the bad moments of champagne, he was going to stay away from alcohol for a while.

“So, where you headed, Dean?” Dave asked.

“Uh, Los Angeles.” Dean answered. He wasn’t sure that was the truth, but it was the only destination he could figure out for the time being.

“So are we!” Linda, Dave’s wife said excitedly.

“We're going to Hollywood to see Howie Mandel.” Dave nearly stood up he was so excited.

“Mm.” Dean smiled.

“Deal or no deal?” The man asked to Dean.

“Uh...” Was he being serious?

“Deal... Or no deal?” The man asked again.

“Uh, deal?” Dean asked questioningly, hoping it was the right answer.

“God, I love that show.” Dave leaned back in his seat. “And plus we're gonna get to see her mom.”

“She has dementia,” Linda informed them.

“Oh.” What was Dean supposed to say to that?”

“Time to put this one to bed.” Linda pointed at the sleeping girl that was laying on the bench near Cas.

“She's such an angel.” Cas smiled down at her.

“When she's asleep, yeah.” Linda laughed. “The moment she wakes up, she's the devil. You'll have one someday and you'll see.”

Cas looked up at Dean instantly and Dean tried not to make eye contact. He was not sure about life as it was. The last thing he needed to do was have conversations about children they were never going to have.

“All right, lovie.” Dave stood up from his chair. “We should probably hit the sack. It's, uh... it's getting late.”

“Thank you so much.” Dean shook Dave’s hand again. He was truly grateful for their hospitality this evening. They got to go to bed with full stomachs for the first time in days.

“You're welcome.” Dave smiled at them both.

_____

 

“Hey.” Dean sat on the bed that was only a few feet away from the bed that Cas was lying in. If things were different, Dean would be all over that. But Cas wasn’t just some random guy he met at a club. It was Cas, and as much as Dean hated to admit it, that meant something to him.

“You've been thinking about having sex with me,” Cas said, shocking Dean that he was even thinking about things like that. Did Cas even know what sex was? “Haven't you?”

“Uh, Um...” Dean ran his hand over the back of his neck, fighting back both nerves and slight embarrassment.

“It's okay.” Cas assured him. “I'm a virgin.”

“Yeah, I...” Dean laughed nervously. “I thought so.”

“Can I ask you something?” Cas sat up, his knees touching Dean’s.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Did you really have sex with somebody's wife?”

“Who, uh...” Dean thought he was prepared for a question but this was not what he was expecting. He should have expected that though. Cas was full of things Dean expect of him. “Who told you about that?”

“Some people at the wedding.” Cas shrugged his shoulder. “He said something about your balls, too.”

“Okay.” Dean laughed.

“Did you have sex with somebody's wife?” Cas asked again.

“Yeah, I did.” Dean admitted.

Dean was nineteen when it happened. His father was working on closing a deal with Douglas Hoffman. It was going to make his father a ton of money but there was a lot to discuss. Dean found the Hoffman’s at their house more often than not, or them at the Hoffman’s house. They definitely had more money than they knew what to do with. But Mrs. Hoffman, she always seemed so sad. Her husband was always off doing something and he children had all moved out of the house. For some reason, Dean just wanted to be there for her, make her smile. He wasn’t sure how long it had been since the woman had smiled. One thing led to another and he found himself spending all of his free time with her, sometimes having sex, sometimes just talking until the early hours of the morning.

“Is that why your dad is so mad at you?” Cas’ question pulled Dean out of his thoughts.

“Well, he's got so many reasons.” Dean admitted. “But, yeah.”

“Who was she?” Cas asked.

“She was the wife of a man who could have made my family a lot of money.” Dean frowned. “She also happened to be very beautiful and very lonely.”

“Did you love her?”

“You know, you're the only one that's ever asked me that.” No one else really cared how Dean felt about the whole thing. They only care that Dean messed up yet again.  “I don't know. Basic human emotions are not my strong suit.”

“I think you seem to be doing alright,” Cas smiled at Dean.

“Thank you,” Dean smiled back. “I’m trying.”

“Dean?” Cas looked down at his feet when he spoke.

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you another question?”

“Sure,” Dean smiled. “Why not?”

“Do you think we can do the kissing thing again?”

“Yeah?” Dean raised an eyebrow at him.

“Yeah,” Cas nodded. “I really liked it.”

“I think we can do that.”

Dean stood up and made his way over to Cas’ bed. He was nervous. He was getting too emotionally attached to Cas and kissing him was only going to make it worse. But he wanted so badly to kiss Cas, and then he was. He had no control over himself. His lips were pressed softly against Cas, and Cas was making these tiny little moans against his lips. Death or prison, wherever he ended up, this was worth it. Cas was worth it.


	14. Chapter fourteen

              Dean drove while Cas slept in the passenger seat. Dean had insisted that Cas sleep in the bed, but Cas did not like being alone back there while Dean was driving. Dean didn’t mind. He loved looking over at Cas, sneaking glances while he was singing along to songs on the radio or looking out at the scenery. Cas pointed out everything, from cows to pretty flowers he had never seen before. Dean had seen all of these things a million times over, but somehow, seeing them through Cas’s eyes made them better than they appeared. Soon, he found himself pointing things out, just so he could see the look on Cas’ face.

              He knew that he was getting in too deep. He had to take him back to the hospital. Dean had to turn himself in and end up wherever he was supposed to end up. He couldn’t run away from this. He had been running his entire life. It was time for him to face the music. He hated to do it, but it had to be done. He was going to cause nothing but hurt and heartache for Cas. They would live on the run and that was no way to live. Cas had already been through enough hell in his life. But until they made it back to Los Angeles, Dean was going to make the most of their time together.

              “What is this place?” Cas looked out the window, eyes big. He was nearly bouncing in his seat.        

              “This is a fair,” Dean informed him, looking out over at the bright lights. Dean always felt it was best to come in the evening, everything always seemed more beautiful.

              “I heard about those,” Cas turned to Dean, his smile still spread across his face. “I always wanted to go to one. Are we going in?”

              “We are going in,” Dean smiled. “But there is a downside to this.”

              “Oh,” Cas frowned. “What is that?”

              “You are going to have to put on some shoes.”

_____

              Cas was like a kid. He ran around, looking at everything. Dean was glad he had some credit cards with money left on them. He had taken out more money than he should have but it was worth it. He wasn’t going to have to worry about the debt in the long run. So, why not spend it while he could. It was going toward a good cause.

              “Can we play?” Cas stopped at one of the games.

              “These things are rigged,” Dean informed Cas. “It is impossible to win and when you do win, it’s just the tiny prizes. It is nearly impossible to get one of the bigger prizes.”

              “Oh,” Castiel frowned, looking between Dean and the game.

              “We will take five darts please,” Dean laid money out in front of them and the guy working the game took it, placing five darts in the money’s place.

              “Really?” Cas smiled again. Thank god the smile was back.

              “Okay,” Dean grabbed a dart and handed it to Cas. “This is what you do. Hold the dart like this, so the sharper end is pointing out. Then, you aim it at the balloons over there and throw as hard as you can. Your goal is to pop the balloons.”

              Cas looked at the dart in his hand and focused. He gripped the dart, looking over at the balloon and focused. He then threw it, missing the balloons completely.

              “That’s okay,” Dean grabbed another dart and handed it to Cas. He then stepped behind Cas, his body pressed against Cas'. Dean willed himself to stay focus and not get distracted by Cas’ warmth against him. Cas melted back into Dean and for a moment, Dean was sure he was going to lose it. But he took control and got them back on track. Dean lined himself up with Cas and lifted Cas’ arm. “Try it like this.”

              Dean helped Cas throw the dart, this time popping a bright orange balloon. Cas jumped when the balloon popped and then turned around quickly and hugged Dean.

              “We did it,” Cas beamed.

              “We did,” Dean turned him back around to face the game. “We have three more darts. Let’s see if we can hit three more balloons.”

              Cas hit two out of three balloons, winning him a small prize. He picked out a little bee and was more than excited to have it be his prize. He didn’t want to work towards getting a bigger prize. He wanted his bee and for some reason, that made Dean smile even bigger.

              The rest of the evening when the same way. They played a few games, ate disgustingly good fair food that people shouldn’t be allowed to eat and rode a few rides. Cas really enjoyed the carousel. He looked free, going round in circles, smiling occasionally at Dean. The probably rode the thing twelve times. But that was okay with Dean. This day was all about Cas and he wanted to make it perfect.

              Once the evening was coming to an end, they sat out on a small patch of grass, sharing a cotton candy and looking out as the fair quieted down.

              “This is,” Cas leaned into Dean and Dean wrapped his arm around Cas, “the best day of my life.”

              Dean agreed. There were good times in Dean’s life, but none of them could compare to this moment. Being here with Cas wrapped in his arms. It was all that he could want in that moment.

              “Do we have to go back?” Cas looked up at Dean. “Can’t we just go somewhere else?”

“I'm in a lot of trouble, Cas.” Dean wished he could give him what he wanted.

“That's why we shouldn't go back.” Cas tried to convince Dean of things he had already tried to convince himself of.

“Yeah. I, uh...” Dean looked away from Cas, not wanting to see the look Cas would get when he realized Dean was a failure. “I owe some people a lot of money.”

“If I had any money,” Cas turned into Dean, leaning forward and bringing his face only inches away from Dean. “I’d give it to you.”

_____

              “Dean?” Cas pulled away from Dean, causing Dean to growl slightly. When they had gotten back to the motor home, Dean found himself unable to control his urges. Before he knew it, he had Cas pinned to the bed and they were kissing and touching each other like their lives depended on it.

              “Shit,” Dean pulled away from Cas, lifting himself up onto his knees. “I didn’t mean to. I am sorry. I wasn’t trying to push you into anything.”

              “You weren’t,” Cas shook his head at Dean, reaching out and taking Dean’s hand. “I wasn’t trying to tell you to stop.”

              “Oh,” Dean sighed in relief. “So, uh, what were you going to say?”

              “I was wondering if you still wanted to uh,” Cas turned his head and Dean could see the blush that creeped up his neck. “Do you still want to have sex with me.”

              “Honestly,” Dean waited until Cas was looking at him again. “Of course, I do. You are gorgeous, smart and insanely badass. There is nothing about you that I don’t find myself attracted to. That makes not wanting to have sex with you hard.”

              “I think I would like you to have sex with me,” Cas said very matter-of-fact. “I mean, I would like to have sex with you.”

              “Are you sure?” Dean wasn’t sure what to do. Does Cas even know what he is asking for.

              “Yes,” Cas nodded. “That is, if you still want to.”

              “Okay,” Dean nodded.

              Dean climbed himself off of the bed and then reached down to grab Cas’ hand. He pulled Cas to his feet and quickly pulled him into another kiss. This kiss was not soft or gentle like all the others. It was harder and so full of want. Cas didn’t seem to be objecting, pushing his body into Dean’s and moaning against his mouth.

              “I am going to take our clothes off now,” Dean informed Cas.

              Cas nodded his understanding. Dean hesitated for a moment but soon began working them out of their clothes. He started with their shirts, pulling them back into a kiss and then pulling away again. He then worked off their pants, leaving them standing there in just their boxers.

              “Cas,” Dean pulled back, looking him over. “Are you absolutely sure about this?”

              “Dean,” Cas grabbed Dean and turned them around, pushing Dean down onto the bed. “I said I was ready. Please, trust me.”

              “Do you trust me?” Dean asked. Cas shouldn’t trust him.

              “More than anything,” Cas nodded, climbing onto the bed and straddling Dean’s lap.

              Dean grabbed Cas’ hips, lifting him up and lying him down on the bed. He then stood up again, pulling his boxers down and kicking them off of his body. Moving back to Cas, he hooked his fingers into his boxers and slowly slid them down his body. He took his time, looking over Cas’ body, every inch of his greatness. Cas was beautiful beyond words. What was he doing?

              Once Cas’ boxers were off and tossed to the side. Dean climbed back over Cas, slotting their legs together. Dean leaned in, taking Cas’ lips with his own, their cocks finally touching. Both of them cried out at the contact. Cas probably, because he had never been touched like this by another human being, and Dean because, well, he had never been touched like this by another human being. Everything with Cas felt new and pure and … Dean didn’t deserve this. That didn’t mean he was going to stop.

              Knowing that he didn’t have lube, Dean knew there was not going to be any penetration. But that was fine. He was going to work Cas into this, not just take it all the first time they get to be together. Cas didn’t know any better.

              Dean continued to kiss Cas, slowly grinding down against him. Cas clawed at Dean’s skin and that only turned Dean on more. He had never had anyone want him so badly, nor had he ever wanted them back the same.

              “Dean,” Cas cried out, gripping Dean’s shoulders.

              Dean knew that he was close. This was his first time. Dean lasted only a few minutes his first time. It was almost embarrassing, but for Cas, it was beautiful. Dean watched him fall apart beneath him.

              “I got you,” Dean whispered against his mouth, reaching down and taking both of their cocks between his fingers.

              Dean stroked them slowly. He wanted nothing about this to be rushed or forced. He wanted to happen naturally. And then it was. Cas grabbed tightly onto Dean, his head pushed back into the pillow, eyes looking directly into Dean. That was all it took. Dean felt Cas’ cock twitch and soon he was coming between then, covering Dean’s hand and his own chest. The sight was beautiful, and Dean completely lost it, following Cas with his own orgasm.

              “Fuck, Cas,” Dean cried out, stroking their cocks a few more times before letting go and collapsing on the bed beside him.

              “Dean,” Cas turned into Dean, flushed and breathless.

              “Yeah, Cas?”

              “That was incredible,” Cas smiled, leaning forward and lying his head on Dean’s chest. “Definitely the best day of my life.”

              “Mine too,” Dean admitted, stroking Cas’ arm with his fingers. “Mine too.”


	15. Chapter fifteen

“Okay,” Dean pulled the motor home into a giant empty parking lot. “I'm gonna teach you how to drive.”

“Oh, no.” Cas shook his head, instant fear in his eyes.

“Yes.” Dean smiled over at him. “Come on.”

“Let's recap.” Dean had spent a good half hour going over the basics of driving with Cas. He would have preferred a car, something small anyways, but they had what they had and Dean could work with it. “To start, brake, jiggle gas, go. That's easy, right?”

“No,” Cas shook his head, looking over at Dean, begging him to stop this with his eyes.  “That's hard.”

“You'll be fine.” Dean assured him. “Now drive us to the other end of the lot.”

“No.” Cas shook his head again.

“Cas, it's okay.” Dean reached out and ran his hand along Cas’ arm. “I'm right here. Start, brake, jiggle gas, go. You can do this.”

Cas turned the motor home on. He repeated the words Dean had told him, over and over again, almost like a chant. Then they were moving forward, only to stop abruptly.

“Oh! No!” Cas shook his head again, gripping the wheel until his knuckles were turning white. “No, no, no, no, no. I c... I can't. I can't do things like other people.”

“What do you think you've been doing the last few days?” Dean moved over and bent down next to Cas. “Things.”

“It's only because I've been with you.” Cas argued.

“No, it's not.” Dean shook his head. “You followed me out of the hospital. You flew in a plane. You danced at a wedding. You even outsmarted a state trooper.”

“He wasn't very smart.” Cas smiled.

“No, he wasn't very smart,” Dean agreed. “But still. Cas, you can do anything in the world... anything. You just have to want to.”

_____

              Dean found a payphone while Cas was in the bathroom. He needed to check up on things. See how much trouble he was actually in.

“Where is he?” Dr. Singer yelled into the phone.

“It’s okay,” Dean held himself up with his hand against the wall behind the payphone. “I'm bringing him back.”

“Son, do you realize what you've done?”

“I haven't done anything.” Dean defended himself. “He followed me out of the hospital like a lost puppy. What was I supposed to do with him?”

“Contact a mental health professional.” Dr. Singer grew even more frustrated with him.

“Didn't occur to me.”

“Honestly,” Dr. Singer’s voice dropped the anger and slipped into something more resembling concern. “At this point, I'm almost more concerned about you. You're facing serious charges now. You know they can find you.”

“Doc, don't worry about that, okay?” Dean hated himself for all of this. “I'm gonna bring him back to you, okay? I promise I'm gonna bring him back.”

              “Y-you said no more phone calls.” Dean froze for a moment before turning to see Cas standing only a few feet away from him. Then he was gone, running off toward the motor home. Dean quickly hung up the phone and took off after him.

“Cas,” Dean yelled but he didn’t stop, he just kept running. “Cas.”

Cas got to the motor home before Dean and he could hear the engine start. Shit. This wasn’t good. Dean tried to pick up his pace but soon the motor home was moving away from him. He ran up to the side, trying to get Cas to stop and pull the damn thing over.

“Hey!” Dean yelled up to Cas, who looked like he was caught in the headlights. “Cas … Cas! … Cas!! Cas, break for slow. Hit the one of the left and stop and talk to me. Cas! You gotta break for slow remember?”

“You never wanted to be my boyfriend!” Cas yelled at him through the window. “It was all just pretend!”

“Yes, I did! Yes, I did!” Dean yelled back. “Of course, I did. Cas please? You are driving in circles, like, literally in circles. Cas stop! You are driving like a crazy person.”

“I'm not a crazy person!” Cas yelled back.

“Stop! Cas!,” Dean yelled, watching Cas’ hands go up and cover his eyes as he ran the motor home into a shipping container. Luckily Cas was not going that fast, but it was still enough to cause smoke and the motor home was more than likely not going to run after this. But that was not important.

Dean rushed into the motor home and went directly to Cas, pulling him into his arms.

“Cas,” Dean tried to calm Cas down. Cas was crying and babbling on, none of it making any sense. “It’s all right. It’s all right. Are you okay? It’s okay.”

Cas wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist, sobbing against his shoulder.

“We need to get out of here?” Dean pulled Cas to his feet. “Okay?”

Cas grabbed some of his things. Dean didn’t grab anything. He knew how this was going to end, there was no point. But it was good that Cas had his things. He got them out of the motor home and passed all the people that had gathered around. They walked for a few minutes, finally stopping at a diner.

Dean led them inside and ordered them both something to eat. He needed time to think, even though he was sure his time was coming to an end.

“We don't have the money to pay for this.” Cas stated the obvious.

“Can I ask you something?” Dean placed his arms on the table and leaned toward Cas, not wanting anyone to hear them. When Cas nodded, Dean continued with his question. “Did you kill your mother?”

“Yes.” Can nodded, his voice full of certainty.

“Were there voices?” Dean asked. “Did voices tell you to do it?”

“No.” Cas shook his head, looking confused. “No, the voices...they didn't tell me things. They told my mother things.”

“So, you don't hear voices?” Dean clarified, making sure he was following along. “Your mother did?”

“Yeah.” Cas confirmed. “Yeah, they used to tell her things all the time. And sometimes it was just silly stuff, but...Mostly it was scary. That's why she yelled all the time. But, um... One night, she... She just screamed and screamed and... I didn't go to her. And then when I woke up in the morning, she was dead.”

“Cas, that is not you killing your mother.” Dean reached over and took Cas’ hands into his own. “That is her dying. You need to stop saying you killed your mother because you didn't. You didn't kill her.”

“Why do I have to go back to the hospital then?” Cas asked and Dean didn’t have a good answer.

“I never wanted to take you back.” Dean admitted and it was true. This was so far from what he wanted.

“That's not real though, is it?” Cas asked. “That's just pretend.”

“Yeah.” Dean nodded. “It is. I did want to take you back. I did. But now I don't. I really don't.”

“Am I gonna have to live at the hospital?”

“I don't know.”

“No one's gonna know where I am.”

“I'll know.”

Dean looked up from Cas. The front door to the diner had opened and multiple officers made their way in, guns drawn but at their side. This was it. This was the end of them. Cas looked at Dean with confusion but soon his questions were answered as an officer pulled Dean out of the booth and put him onto the ground, handcuffing him and reading his rights.

“You're not gonna forget?” Cas yelled to Dean before they were able to fully remove him from the diner.

“I'm not gonna forget.” Dean promised. “I’ll never forget.”


	16. Chapter sixteen

“Cas?” Cas followed the nurse who was meant to escort him back to his room. He hated being here but this was his fate. He didn’t have Dean anymore, there was no point in wanting to be free. He just needed to accept that this was where he was going to spend the rest of his life and get over it. He didn’t want to be anywhere if he couldn’t be with Dean.

“Hey, Cas?” Everyone was trying to talk to him but he had nothing to say.

“Hey, Cas? What happened?” Questions, more people he didn’t really know.

“Cas.” Someone reached out and grabbed Cas by the arm, turning him around. Cas didn’t even bother to fight it. “Cas, it's me, Carl. Carl James, honey.”

_____

 

“He's in the Los Angeles county jail.” Mary stepped into her husband’s office. He didn’t even bother looking up from his computer. When Dean had left, John had said that he was done with it. If Dean didn’t want to change his life, he wasn’t going to waste his time trying to help him. But Mary knew better. “John!”

“What?” John asked, still not looking up at his wife.

“There was a time when you were as reckless as he is, and who bailed you out?” Mary leaned against the door frame, crossing her arms over his chest.  “Your father.”

_____

             

              Dean laid on the bed in his cell that he shared with one other person. A horrible guy who loved to talk about the things that he had done on the outside, like he was proud of all the rules he broke. There might have been a time when Dean would have joined in, swopping stories, but that Dean was gone. Dean regretted everything he had ever done wrong in his life. Sure, they led to him meeting Cas but they were also the reason that he had lost Cas. Chances of him ever seen Cas again were slim to none and it was all his fault. It was always his fault.

              “Winchester.” A guard appeared outside his cell, before unlocking it. “You’re out.”

              “Who posted my bail?” Dean asked again, taking what little possessions they had taken from him. He didn’t have much left in life anymore. “Hello?”

              Dean pushed open the door to the jail and made his way out of the building. Just outside the door, leaning against a large black SUV, was his father. He was the last person that Dean had expected to see in this situation.

              “Thank you,” Dean hugged his father, unable to stop the tears. “Thank you.”

_____

              “I’m sorry,” Dean paced back and forth in front of Dr. Singer’s desk. “I have to see him.”

              “I just don’t see that happening,” Dr. Singer shook his head. “Mr. Winchester, you have a better chance of being elected mayor than ever getting in here again ...which is to say none.”

              “We will see about that,” Dean turned and quickly exited the office, slamming the door behind him.

_____

              Dean walked around for a few hours, trying to figure out what to do. He wasn’t in jail, not at the moment and he was still alive. He had a chance to make things right but he was so far away. He was locked behind secured doors. There was no way for him to get in. Or was there?

              Dean made his way to a heavily populated area. He needed to make sure that there were plenty of people around to see what he was about to do. Once he was in position, he waited. He didn’t have to wait long. He could hear the train coming. Dean walked out onto the train tracks, eyes from all around following him. He then laid down and waited.

              “Hey,” Someone began to yell. “Hey, what are you doing? Get off the tracks.”

______

 

“How we feeling today?” The nurse bringing around the pills asked Cas when she reached him.

“I don't want any more pills.” Cas pushed the container away. “I just want to see Dean.”

“You can't, honey.” The nurse shook her head, trying to give Cas a smile but he knew it was fake. “He's in jail.”

“No,” Cas shook his head. “He was here this morning. I saw him.”

“Either way,” the nurse tried to hand the pills to Cas again but he refused. “He doesn't work here anymore.”

“I have to go then.” Cas stood up and made his way toward the doors. They were locked but that did not stop Cas from trying to pry them open. He had to get to Dean. He needed to get to Dean. Dean was out there, alone, without him.

“No. No, Cas, no.” Someone came up behind Cas and pulled him away from the door, but he fought them. They were not going to stop him from being with Dean.

“No, I promise I'm only gonna leave for a little bit.” Cas tried to break free but he was not strong enough to get away. So, he did the only thing he could think of, he kicked, he needed to be free. “No, it's okay 'cause I'm not crazy. It's okay.”

“It's all right.” The man holding Cas back tried to say but Cas was having none of it. “You just need to calm down.”

“No, no,” Cas continued to fight against the man. “I'm not having an attack! I just want to see my boyfriend!”


	17. chapter seventeen

“Well, that was quite a stunt.” Dr. Singer stopped Dean in the hallway.

“Yeah.” Dean smiled up at him.

“But I'm releasing you.” Dr. Singer informed him.

“You can't.” Dean argued.  “I'm suicidal.”

“Bullshit.” Dr. Singer called him on his bluff.

“I'm serious.” Dean brought himself to his feet.

“Then I'll put you on suicide precaution.” Dr. Singer informed him. “You'll be in a locked ward.”

“He's not sick, doc.” Dean changed the subject. This was all about Cas after all. Whatever happened to Dean didn’t matter. “The voices are not in Cas’ head. They were in his mother's head.”

“He told you that?” Dr. Singer turned, finally making eye contact with Dean.

“Dr. Singer?”

“Yes, Mr. Fitzgerald?” Dr. Singer turned toward Garth.

“Why won't you let Mr. Winchester see his Cas?” He asked.

“Mr. Fitzgerald,” Dr. Singer shook his head. “I can't discuss another patient with you.”

“They're holding him against his will,” Garth began to pace like he always did when he went on one of his rants. “Aren't they? They've got a computer with everything about you on it. They know about you and Cas. They know everything.”

_____

              Dean was going crazy being locked up. He was not allowed in general population at the moment. They had to make sure there was nothing around that he could hurt himself with. They knew he was not going to hurt himself, just as much as he knew it himself. Dr. Singer was only trying to prove that he had all of the control here. It didn’t matter. Dean told him the truth and the reaction told Dean that Dr. Singer heard him loud and clear. Hopefully he would do the right thing.

              So, while he waited to see what was going to happen, he did the only thing he could. He slept. It was actually kind of nice. He couldn’t remember the last time he had gotten so much sleep. He had lived so much of the last few months worrying or in fear for his life. Now all he had to worry about was Cas and he knew that Cas was okay as well. Sure, he was locked away in this building, same as Dean, but at least he was safe and Dean didn’t need to worry.

              Dean’s eyes flew open, he couldn’t remember when he had fallen asleep, but one thing was for sure. He couldn’t breathe. He fought against the figure in the dark, his eyes still working to make out whatever they could see in the dark. It didn’t take him long to recognize one of Mr. Zachariah’s goons. He had something wrapped around Dean’s neck and Dean struggled to break free, failing miserably.

              Then it was over. The man in front of him was dropping to the ground.

              Then it was dark.

_____

“You okay?” Dean looked over slowly to see Dr. Singer sitting next to his hospital bed. He tried to answer, but it hurt.

“For once in your life, don't talk.” Dr. Singer laughed.

“Okay.” Dean answered.

“That's talking.”

“Sorry,” Dean spoke again.

“I came to apologize.” Dr. Singer leaned forward in his chair, placing his arms on his legs.

“For what?” Dean couldn’t for the life figure out what Dr. Singer could have done wrong. He was just doing his job.

“You were right about Larry.” Dr. Singer informed him. “And about Cas’ mother. She was diagnosed schizophrenic with extreme paranoia by several doctors. It's remarkable, really, she was able to raise a child at all.”

“So, you can release him?” Dean asked, things finally looking up.

“I need to keep an eye on him.” Dr. Singer shook his head. “If all goes well, he'll transition to a group home in two or three months.”

“No, that's too long to wait.”

“He'll be all right.” Dr. Singer tried to assure Dean.

“I wasn't talking about him.”

“Well, there's nothing I can do.” Dr. Singer said.

“Of course, there is.” Dean looked over at Dr. Singer. He knew better. If anyone could get him out, it was him. Dr. Singer was their only chance.”

“You have a letter,” A nurse made her way into Dean’s room.

“I’ll leave you be,” Dr. Singer stood up. “Things are going to work out Dean.”

“I hope so,” Dean looked away. He couldn’t think about what would happen if they didn’t let him out.

“Here you go,” the nurse handed to envelope to Dean. It had his name on it and nothing else. That meant that someone had brought it directly to the hospital and asked them to give it to Dean. Hopefully it was not from Zachariah.

Dean slowly opened the envelope, pulling out a folded piece of paper. He slowly opened it, immediately recognizing the handwriting.

 

_Dean,_

_Hopefully this will help you get back on track. Never be afraid to come home. Tell Cas your mother says hello._

 

              Dean opened the envelope further and noticed another piece of paper. Pulling it out, Dean’s heart nearly stopped. It was a check for fifty thousand dollars. That was enough to pay off his debt and more. Maybe it would be enough to get things started with Cas, if he ever got Cas back. Maybe they could head to New Orleans, or somewhere completely new to start over.

_______

 

“So, you wanted to know about Mr. Winchester.” Dr. Singer sat down in the chair across from Cas. “You like Mr. Winchester?”

“I-I don't like him.” Cas shook his head, turning to face Dr. Singer. “I love him.”

“Have you ever been in love before, Cas?”

“No.” Cas admitted.

“Then how do you know you love Mr. Winchester?”

“Have you ever been in love?” Cas asked Dr. Singer.

“I'd like to think so, yes.” Dr. Singer looked down at his hand, twisting the ring on his finger.

“With who?”

“I was married.” Dr. Singer admitted. “And, uh, we're divorced now.”

“You still love her.” Cas stated. “When it happens, you know it's not anything else.”

_____

 

“Thank you.” Cas took the flowers that were being handed to him from Mr. James.

“They're from planet neblon.” Mr. James informed him.

“They're beautiful.” Cas admitted, leaning forward and hugging him. “Thank you.”

              Cas took his flowers and grabbed his bag. He was both nervous and excited. He was finally going to be free and with Dean. Dean was just on the other side of those doors. Why was he nervous?

              “It’s time to go,” Dr. Singer smiled at Cas, ushering him toward the door. “Do me a favor huh?”

              “What’s that?” Cas asked curiously.

              “Keep him out of trouble,” Dr. Singer smiled.

              “I like him when he’s in trouble,” Cas admitted. “But I will do my best.”

              “Goodbye, Cas,” Dr. Singer opened the door into the lobby. “And good luck.”

              Cas spotted Dean instantly. He wanted to be all calm and act like this wasn’t a big deal. He had been told recently that he needed to not get so excited about things, but it was Dean and he was here. Cas decided to try and be calm some other day, so he ran up to Dean and nearly jumped in his arms. Dean picked him up off the ground, spinning him around. It was like a scene in an old movie Cas had seen and he had never been happier.

              Dean finally sat Cas down, stepping forward and leaning in for a kiss, but Cas pulled back slightly.

“What's the matter?” Dean asked, concern setting in on his face.

“You're standing on my toes.” Cas looked down at his barefeet.

“Oh, shit.” Dean stepped back, laughing lightly. “Sorry.”

“Let’s go,” Cas held his hand out for Dean to take.

“Wait,” Dean grabbed Cas’ hand but turned him back to face him. “I have to say something first. I know this is not the best place for it, but I need you to know this before we go out there and try to see where life takes us.”

“Okay,” Cas nodded.

“Cas,” Dean took a deep breath. “I uh, … I love you.”

“I know,” Cas smiled, leaning forward and pressing his lips to Dean’s for a short kiss. “So, where are we going.”

“To a shoe store?” Dean asked.

“Dean, don’t be silly.” Cas shook his head. “You know they hurt my feet.”


End file.
